Blake Edwards' 1961 classic, "Breakfast at Tiffany's," is a madcap romantic romp about an extraordinarily well-dressed New York City courtesan and her dapper male prostitute neighbor. This movie has it all: call girls, gigolos, yellow face, cat abuse, statutory rape, the mafia, and even O.J. (Berman, not Simpson).
Audrey Hepburn plays Holly Golightly, a quirky victim of child molestation who re-enacts her victimhood over and over again by prostituting herself to older men who provide her with resources. Holly also helps facilitate the continued activities of an incarcerated narcotics kingpin, Sally Tomato.
George Peppard plays Paul Varjak, a writer-turned-paid-dick-slinger who hasn’t produced anything in years until meeting his muse, Holly. Paul initially pretends like he understands and accepts Holly for who she is, but needs her to change everything about herself in order for them to live happily ever after.
Mickey Rooney plays Mr. Yunioshi, an ultra-racist caricature of a Japanese person who was so offensive everyone involved was forced to apologize for decades.
Buddy Ebsen plays Doc Golightly, a pedophiliac Texan who married 14-year-old Holly and tracked her down in New York years after her escape. We are supposed to think he’s a good dude and feel sorry for him because he first pulled Holly and her brother out of the gutter before inviting her into his marital bed.
Join us as we discuss how Keating enjoys drunkenly serenading dogs and a failsafe suicide technique.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Sincerity Mask.
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Happy Independence Day, everybody! If world events are making you feel less than celebratory, you can always take solace in the fact that there aren't currently any giant spaceships filled with genocidal aliens hovering over the world's major cities like in Roland Emmerich's 1996 megablockbuster, "Independence Day.”
Be warned that although "Independence Day" contains a large ensemble cast of mostly A-List actors, the unoriginal script and horrid directing produced some of the worst performances of their careers.
Jeff Goldblum plays David Levinson, a lowly, unambitious MIT-educated math genius, chess Grandmaster and cable television executive who can read binary and easily destroy an armada of alien ships with his 1995 Apple PowerBook 5300.
Will Smith plays Captain Steven Hiller, a gung-ho Marine who's in love with a stripper with a heart of gold and is capable of coldcocking an armor-clad alien with one punch. He can also inexplicably pilot any kind of vehicle, be it a helicopter or alien ship.
Bill Pullman plays President Thomas J. Whitmore, a former Desert Storm fighter pilot turned politician. Pullman’s Dirty Harryesque acting delivered the most hackneyed oration in the history of film, until it was overtaken by the 2009 release of James Cameron’s "Avatar."
Randy Quaid plays Russell Casse, a drunken Vietnam vet and father of three who reforms his ways just in time to sacrifice himself and save the world. The makers of this movie seem to believe that criminally irresponsible alcoholic parents are the height of comedy.
Judd Hirsch plays Julius Levinson, David’s Yiddish-accented father who serves as a chauffeur and hype man to his son throughout the film.
Brent Spiner plays Dr. Brackish Okun, an eccentric Area 51 scientist character. In reality, Spiner is just a pawn to get weirdo Trekkies like Jim to like the movie.
Gravelly-voiced Robert Loggia plays General William Grey, a tough old Marine who serves as the President's trusted military advisor throughout the film.
Famous crooner-turned-actor-turned-daytime talkshow host, Harry Connick Jr., plays Lieutenant Jimmy Wilder, a pilot in Will Smith's squadron who is fond of doing Jesse Jackson impressions and calling Will Smith "Big Daddy."
Harvey Fierstein has a brief cameo as Marty Gilbert, a co-worker of Jeff Goldblum who feels compelled to call his mother after learning of the alien arrival. Upon learning of the aliens' hostile intentions, he also decides to warn his brother and bookie, but decides to spitefully forego warning his lawyer.
Join us as we discuss our favorite Reddit news source, DonkeySemen69, and learn about Keating's love for watching horses get punched in the face.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by the USA SAFETY Act (Uniting and Strengthening America by Stubbornly Affirming Freedom by Eliminating Terrorist Yearnings Act of 2017).
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Hello,
Did you know that a freshly severed human head weighs 8 pounds? The overly-quoted 1996 Cameron Crowe film, "Jerry Maguire," informs us of this fact along with a bunch of schmaltzy nonsense. The film's cornball dialogue and maudlin characters gave moviegoers a worse toothache than the giant container of Milk Duds they bought at the concession stand ever could. The last time we checked, needing someone to complete oneself was codependency and not a romantic notion.
This episode contains an unexpected event that happened while we were recording, so look out for that in the middle of the episode.
Tom Cruise plays Jerry Maguire, a thin-skinned pro sports agent who commits career suicide by manically writing the world's most cliché manifesto in the middle of the night because a little kid called him a jerk. Cruise’s portrayal of Maguire provided a glimpse of the pure insanity he would later exhibit during the Oprah couch incident of '05 and his legendary Scientology video.
Renée Zellweger plays Dorothy Boyd, a lonely widow who holds a suspicious amount of contempt for her now deceased husband. She hatches a dastardly plan to use her adorable son as a pawn in order to lure Jerry Maguire into her secret garden.
Cuba Gooding Jr. plays Rod Tidwell, an NFL wide receiver who becomes Jerry’s only remaining client and yells every word that comes out of his mouth. Cuba ended up winning an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for spouting off a bunch of catchphrases and walking around naked.
Jonathan Lipnicki plays Ray Boyd, a walking talking human booby trap whose weapons-grade smiles, hugs and kisses envelope Jerry Maguire faster than quicksand.
Join us as we reveal Jerry Maguire’s father’s true identity and ridicule Bruce Springsteen.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by A-OK-47.
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John Hughes’ 1984 motion picture "Sixteen Candles" was a seminal point in film history—meaning, this is when movies started to get much worse. Way too many flicks have emulated this garbage heap’s style and essence over the years, and somehow people look past its gigantic flaws and consider it a classic comedy that’s both romantic and realistic at showing the awkwardness of high school. Um, no. None of those things are true.
It’s widely known for its blatant racism with the whole Long Duk Dong character, but that just makes people forget that this movie is also extremely rapey. The popular high school jock trades the opportunity to have sex with his passed-out popular girlfriend to someone he hardly knows in exchange for another girl’s underwear. Oh, John Hughes. You’re such a romantic.
Molly Ringwald (the original underwear owner) plays Samantha Baker, a high school girl on her 16th birthday who has two problems: 1.) nobody in her family remembers that it’s her birthday, and 2.) the boy she likes doesn’t even know she exists. These problems are, like, pretty major.
Anthony Michael Hall (who acquired her underwear and then trades them for rape) plays a lecherous creep who is somehow considered an underdog "geek."
And some guy nobody’s ever heard of (the one who traded his lady for the panties) plays Jake Ryan, a popular jock who Molly Ringwald so desperately wants to bone.
None of this movie is funny. All of it is racist. None of this movie is romantic. All of it is disgusting.
Join us as we discuss what kind of disease "Ringwald's" probably is, whether John Hughes belonged on a list, and exactly just what the racial slur "bohunk" means.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Kim Jong-university.
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Noted empty chair scolder, Clint Eastwood, directed the 2016 biographical drama, "Sully," which was proudly nominated for three AARP Movies for Grownups Awards. The film somehow manages to take the captivating story of one of greatest heroes of modern times, Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger, and twist it into a mind-numbingly boring rant about how governmental agencies are malevolent and incompetent. Who knew that a movie about a guy who single-handedly saved 155 lives and was an Air Force fighter pilot could be such a snoozefest?
Charming and brilliant Tom Hanks made the unfortunate mistake of following Eastwood's ham-fisted direction in his portrayal of Sully. He presents him as stiff and robotic rather than the charismatic and dynamic character he has demonstrated himself to be on numerous occasions. While the real Sully confidently strode into the media spotlight following "The Miracle on the Hudson," he is awkwardly depicted as a withdrawn and frightened mess who feared being exposed as a negligent fraud. Again, we blame Dirty Harry for this rather than Tom.
Aaron Eckhart plays Jeff Skiles, Sully's heavily-mustachioed First Officer on US Airways Flight 1549. Eckhart's over-the-top facial fur and cheesy affect made for a performance that was more cartoonish than when he played Two-Face in "The Dark Knight."
Laura Linney plays Sully's wife, Lorrie Sullenberger. For some reason, they decided to portray Sully's beloved wife, who was a great source of support to him, as an ill-natured Nervous Nellie. She only talks to him on the phone in this and seems to try to add to his stress level at every opportunity.
Mike O'Malley, of Nickelodeon "GUTS" fame, plays the evil leader of the made-up governmental conspiracy against Sully that Eastwood shoehorned into this movie for no apparent reason.
Anna Gunn, aka Skylar White in "Breaking Bad," plays a slightly less evil government agent. She also tries railroad Sully as a bad guy after he saved 155 people, but she was a little bit nicer about it.
Join us as we discuss Hanks's acclaimed history of playing captains, chicken cannons and awkward cab conversations.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by ActualMonster.com.
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The emperor has no clothes! Paul Verhoeven’s 1997 film, "Starship Troopers,” is a blow ‘em up action war movie for 13-year-old boys featuring slimy aliens and a co-ed shower scene. It cowardly tries to claim that it's misunderstood satire rather than just a pile of space junk. In reality, the film is as effective at attacking militarism as "Top Gun," and, as far as the argument that this director is a secret genius goes, remember than Verhoeven is the same no-talent hack who famously directed softcore pornos like "Showgirls" and "Basic Instinct."
Casper Van Dien brings his soap opera-level talents to the role of Johnny Rico, a pretty boy who enlists in the military to try to impress his high school girlfriend despite clear indications that she's Just Not That Into Him. Against all odds, Rico manages to rise through the ranks and ultimately plays a major part in saving the human race from its arachnid enemies, but remember: fascism is bad.
And just when you thought the acting couldn’t get any worse than Van Dien, Denise Richards proves you wrong. She plays Carmen Ibanez (not Ibañez for some reason), the least-convincing starship captain in the history of film. She is also supposed to be one of the future’s top mathematical minds, so it's no wonder that mankind found itself on the verge of extinction.
Neil Patrick Harris plays Carl Jenkins, a psychic who enjoys making his pet ferret run up his mother's skirt for fun. Keep in mind, this movie was filmed years before NPH found his footing as the Tony Award-winning-and-hosting national treasure that he is today.
Join us as we discuss why the military takes prosthetic limbs away from veterans and how goo tanks work.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Way Better Than You Farms.
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Viewing Paul Feig's overly-praised 2011 comedy, "Bridesmaids," is like watching a series of bad deleted scenes from a better movie. The film is a mediocre and forgettable “Saturday Night Live” sketch that keeps dragging on for more than two hours of your life that you will never get back.
Kristen Wiig plays Annie Walker, an immature, bitter and self-destructive former bakery shop owner who cannot stand to see anyone around her experiencing happiness. Despite the fact that she can barely pay the rent on her crummy apartment that she shares with two weirdo British roommates, Annie commits to being the maid of honor in a wedding that has a budget of at least a million dollars. Everything she ends up touching falls apart and cheeseball antics ensue. Also, there's some lame love story about Annie and a dopey Irish police officer.
Maya Rudolph plays Lillian Donovan, an anus-bleachin’ diarrhea in the middle of the street havin’ Wilson Phillips lovin’ bridezilla who can’t seem to decide which one of her sociopathic friends is her true bestie. She plays the BFF candidates against one another in a series of elaborate wedding-related events until one of them breaks down from sheer exhaustion at the amount of drama that she can bring to bear.
Rose Byrne plays Helen Harris III, a snooty and possessive mean girl maniac who’s hell-bent on edging out her competition for the title of Lillian’s best friend. Throughout the movie, Helen sets up one china shop after another for her adversary, Annie, to bull through while trying to isolate herself as much as possible from the collateral damage.
Melissa McCarthy plays Megan Price, a well-meaning, lovable buffoon who awkwardly blunders her way through one contrived scenario after the next, almost exactly like Chris Farley. Her performance produces a couple of the rare funny moments this movie has to offer.
Oh, and Rebel Wilson plays the most annoying character ever conceived of in the history of mankind: herself.
Join us as we discuss Jim’s binders full of funny women and how the scenes in this film are as long, and as painful, as the gestation of an elephant.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Personanongrata.tv.
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The 1997 Jim Carrey/Christopher Darden vehicle, "Liar Liar," is about a child who makes a birthday wish, just for one day, that his slimy lawyer dad cannot tell a lie. When the boy's wish is granted by some unspecified demon, his father is stricken with a case of Tourette syndrome which ultimately results in his arrest, the loss of his job and severe bodily harm. Oh yeah, this is a "fun" comedy.
Jim Carrey plays Fletcher Reede, an irredeemably despicable attorney who cheats on his wife, exchanges sexual favors for career advancement and considers spousal abuse to be a laughing matter, but the audience is supposed to think he's a swell guy because he occasionally likes to tickle his son who he lovingly refers to as "Creepy."
Christopher Darden, one of the prosecutors who famously bungled the O.J. Simpson trial, has an uncredited cameo at the beginning of the film where he asks Jim Carrey how his trial went. This is not a joke.
Maura Tierney plays Audrey Reede, a pathetic divorcée who spends most of the movie deciding whether or not to move her child from L.A. to Boston and marry a guy she hates out of nothing more than petty spite for her ex-husband.
Join us as we discuss how this movie rips off "The Twilight Zone" twice, Jim's history with clowns and whether this movie should be rated G or NC-17.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Chickenlittittol.
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As Raymond Carver once said, "I hate tricks. At the first sign of a trick or gimmick in a piece of fiction, a cheap trick or even an elaborate trick, I tend to look for cover." Carver would be diving for cover lickety-split upon viewing the 2014 Best Picture winner, "Birdman," with its overabundance of third-rate tricks and pretentious gimmicks, such as including an intentionally bad stage adaptation of one of Carver's short stories, "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love."
The primary trick is that the director, Alejandro González Iñárritu, employs is to give the viewer the impression that they are watching a movie that was filmed in one shot. While this sounds like an interesting approach on paper, it quickly becomes apparent that the choice was done out of a desire to show off rather than to effectively tell the story.
The primary gimmick is that the plot of the movie revolves around an actor who was a major box office star in the early 90s known for playing a famous superhero and they cast Michael Keaton, an actor who was a major box office star in the early 90s known for playing a famous superhero, to play the role. Get it, isn't Iñárritu clever?
Emma Stone plays an angry post-rehab emo chick with daddy issues. Her performance is rife with her trademark overacting and sarcastic attitude.
Edward Norton plays a difficult to work with broadway darling who proclaims that the only time he is truly honest is while he is on stage.
Zach Galifianakis plays the awkward semi-effeminate oddball character that he plays in every other movie.
The film also tries to fool the critics and audience into thinking that it has a deeper meaning by injecting excessive amounts of inside Broadway and Hollywood references.
Join us as we ruffle up our feathers and squawk out our disdain for the pure uncut Oscar bait that is this movie.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Stealth Hover 2000.
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The 2003 Nancy Meyers joint, "Something's Gotta Give," tells the story of a mother falling wildly in love with her daughter's boyfriend after spending a couple days with the guy while he's recovering from a heart attack. It's a tale as old as time, told by an idiot, full of phony crying and boner jokes, signifying nothing.
Diane Keaton plays Erica Jane Barry, a turtleneck wearin' Broadway play writin' 50-something divorcée who somehow manages to lead a billionaire's lifestyle. At first, she pretends that she is leading a highly-fulfilling and independent life, but she quickly falls to pieces as soon as a man she gets a crush on appears. Don't worry, though, because she ends up writing a hit play about her heartbreak, so it's all worth it or something.
Jack Nicholson plays Harry Sanborn, a Viagra poppin' rap label ownin' 60-something multi-millionaire playboy who spends most of his time seeking out casual sex with beautiful women half his age until he has a heart attack and sees the error of his ways. After that, he has a brief fling with a woman who is age-appropriate, spends six months apologizing to hundreds of past lovers for no reason and chases after his one true love in Paris.
Keanu Reeves plays Dr. Julian Mercer, a flawless 30-something Broadway lovin' emergency medicine practicin' doctor who falls deeply in love with Diane Keaton's character immediately upon meeting her despite their almost 20-year age gap. That's right, they cast Bill from "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" as an intellectual physician. His distractingly-bad performance inadvertently provides the only effective comic relief in the movie.
Join us as we discuss the problems we have with Nancy Meyers movies as well as Keating's mom's thorough analysis the film.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by WifeLock.
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In 1986, Rob Reiner ("Meathead" from "All in the Family") attempted to adapt a Stephen King novella called "The Body" into a Rated R kids movie. The resulting film, "Stand by Me," is an 88-minute cry-fest about four adolescent buddies who walk about 30 miles to find the body of a kid who got hit by a train in hopes of getting their names in the local newspaper.
Wil Wheaton plays young Gordie Lachance, a scrawny aspiring fiction writer (a surrogate for Stephen King) who finds himself unable to process the death of his posthumously glorified older brother, Denny, played by John Cusack. In the span of two days, Gordie narrowly outruns a junkyard dog, barely dodges an oncoming train and shoots a gun multiple times.
River Phoenix plays Chris Chambers, a too cool for school James Dean emulator who comes from a dysfunctional family and finds himself unable to get out from under their shadow. Chris is a walking, talking advertisement for smoking cigarettes throughout the movie.
Corey Feldman plays Teddy Duchamp, a mentally unstable semi-suicidal maniac with deformed ear. Allegedly, the character Feldman plays is not far off from his real life persona.
Jerry O'Connell Romijn-Stamos plays Vern Tessio, a simple-minded heavyset caricature whose personality resembles "Chunk" from "The Goonies."
Join us as we dismember this saccharine film as well as Jim's derivative childhood.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Ephemeral.
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The iconic 1977 musical-drama, "Saturday Night Fever," is perhaps the most overrated movie we've reviewed to date (e.g., Gene Siskel's favorite movie). People tend to remember the film as a fun little dance flick instead of seeing it for the poorly-filmed tribute to douchebaggery that it is. It's chock-full of gleeful racism and unashamed rape. It's tremendous box-office success did a lot to reinvigorate the horrible disco phenomenon and further propel its disgusting culture for several more years.
John Travolta basically again plays Vinnie Barbarino from "Welcome Back, Kotter," and he was somehow given a Best Actor Oscar nomination for doing so. His character's actions throughout the movie are unforgivable, but the audience is ultimately supposed to think he's a good dude because he has a cute smile and can dance.
Join us as we put on our hazmat suits to wade through this toxic waste dump of a movie.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by YouLube.
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One winter day in the year 2000, a sly wind blew in from the North carrying the rotten stench of "Chocolat." Its watered-down message about religious zealots needing to get laid every once in a while and lighten up slightly is supposed to be charming, but it is really just a cheap bastardization of a powerful and beautifully-written novel that challenges the morality of Catholicism. The makers of the film ripped out the heart of the story for the purpose of not offending Christian audiences and replaced it with a half-baked quirky romance.
Juliette Binoche plays a semi-magical single mother who moves into a small town in 1950s France and starts selling chocolate-flavored Spanish Fly and creates quite the stir. Bill Cosby would be proud [allegedly] that slipping sex drugs to unknowing victims is shown in such a positive light.
Johnny Depp plays Roux, an irreverent drifter with a questionable accent.
Join us as we for the second week in a row tackle a movie with an Easter theme. This time we have a chocolate hangover rather than a Jesus' blood hangover.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Social Mirage.
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Happy Easter!
Sir Mel Gibson's 2004 box office smash "The Passion of the Christ" is in a genre of movie we have yet to cover on the show: torture porn. It's a movie about suffering—specifically, the audience's.
Jimmy "JC" Caviezel plays the son of the one true God, Jesus H. Christ. It's a tall tale about a child born after a ghost impregnated his mommy without her consent. He then went around showing off a bunch of magic tricks until it landed him in hot soup with some powerful Jews and Romans.
The famed anti-Semite and misogynist star of "What Women Want" directed this slow-motion snuff film that used more blood than 10,000 elevator scenes from "The Shining" and had more Gore in it than Tipper's vagina in the entire 1980s.
Join us two lapsed Catholics as we discuss this prolapsed anus of a movie.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by The Noose.
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The Top 5 reasons that people who are in love with the 2000 romantic comedy-drama, "High Fidelity," need to break up with it:
1. The main character, Rob Gordon, played by John Cusack, is a mopey man-child who doesn't change, but the movie pretends he does.
2. Rob annoyingly talks into the camera the whole time. The makers of this movie have never heard of the fourth wall.
3. The movie is just a series of scenes where Rob whines about breakups.
4. The audience is supposed to want to root for Rob, but they aren't shown anything that makes them want to. In fact, what they are shown makes them want to root against him.
5. Rob makes Top 5 lists about everything.
We discuss which child stars belong in the Haim Grave, Lisa Bonet's Kravitzstonian accent and Bruce Springsteen's cameo as himself, which is one of the most painful and awkward moments in cinema history.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by The Check Your Privilege Foundation.
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Tim Burton's 2003 fantasy drama, "Big Fish," took an interesting novel, shredded it into a bunch of disjointed pieces and removed all its compelling aspects. The story of a son working to overcome the deep-rooted distance between himself and his terminally ill father is drowned out completely by naked werewolves, guys dying while jerking off on the toilet and weird sex cult towns.
Ewan McGregor plays young Edward Bloom, an ambitious Alabamian anecdotalist who goes on one adventure after another. The audience is supposed to think young Edward is such a good dude as he alienates his son, delivers a simple-minded "friend" with gigantism to a flimflam circus man to be exploited as part of a "freak show," steals a guy's fiancé, and carries on an emotional affair.
Albert Finney plays old Edward Bloom, the most boisterous stage 4 cancer patient you've ever seen. He spends his declining years recounting braggadocious stories all about his wild and heroic exploits.
Billy Crudup turns in the worst performance of his career as Will Bloom, a petulant young man who can't let go of his resentment for his dying dad even though the movie gives him no reason to feel bitter in the first place.
Jessica Lange plays Sandra Bloom, a Manic Pixie Dream Wife whose purposes in life are to fawn over her husband, Edward, and to serve as his trophy.
Also, fair warning, Keating sings Toad the Wet Sprocket's "All I Want."
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Ignorance Stone.
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In space, life is impossible. But if only Alfonso Cuarón filmed his overrated and meaningless turd from 2013, “Gravity,” in the vacuum of space, we wouldn’t have had to sit through this 91-minute chore that somehow felt like three hours.
This movie was indiscriminately lauded by critics, received 10 Oscar nominations—winning seven, and has been labeled "a masterpiece" by many. We don’t buy it.
Sandra Bullock and George Clooney star as stranded astronauts trying to survive after a Sharknado of space junk knocks them around and cuts their communication ties with NASA, and evidently destroys half of North America’s access to Facebook.
We discuss this movie’s lack of story and shoe-horned-in harrowing backstories in this nonstop anxiety porn that people seem to give a pass to because it looks pretty in 3-D.
We are baffled by George Clooney’s characters’ weird story about a transvestite, the conversation Sandy Bullock’s character has with an Inuit fisherman, and why the Chinese apparently are able to play ping pong on space stations.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Histrionic Media.
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Once upon a time (in 1990) there was a movie named "Ghost" that haunted box offices across the world until it made more than $500 million. "Ghost" scared its audiences with terrifyingly bad performances, frighteningly cheesy love scenes and startlingly phony special effects. Its success opened wide the gates of chick flick hell.
Patrick Swayze plays Sam Wheat, a Wall Street banker with breathtakingly '80s hair and a penchant for saying, "Ditto." After dying 20 minutes into the film, Sam's ghost obsessively stalks his girlfriend, steals $4 million and kills two dudes.
Whoopi Goldberg plays Oda Mae Brown, a prime example of the Magical Negro movie character cliché who helps Sam's ghost communicate with his girlfriend, awkwardly fondle her and foil a sinister plot. Whoopi's supposed "acting" won her the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress.
Demi Moore plays Molly Jensen, Sam's lousy artist-of-a-girlfriend who just moved in with him. Her hobbies include pottery, home decorating and crying a lot. Molly is an extremely weak person who tends to fully believe whatever the person she talked to last has said.
Join us as we bravely venture into the spooky depths of this monumental fiasco. What we discover may make your blood run cold.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Rent-A-Fact.
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The 2015 Judd Apatow/Amy Schumer joint, "Trainwreck," has been heralded as some sort of groundbreaking feminist triumph, but it's about as feminist as your creepy drunken uncle Lou. It's really just a disjointed hodgepodge of Amy's standup bits and sketch ideas with a romantic comedy shoehorned in.
Amy Schumer plays Amy (because, apparently, this is a '90s sitcom), a rough-talking tough New York girl who has given up on the idea of finding love and has instead settled for a series of one-night stands. Her hobbies include racism, picking on children and using her father's MS to manipulate people into thinking she's some sort of hero.
Bill Hader plays Dr. Aaron Conners, a cliche perfect guy with zero flaws who inexplicably instantaneously falls in love with this monster.
LeBron James plays a fictionalized version of himself. How do we know that? Because Bill Hader is the only member of his "posse." He's a Sunglass Hut-wearin', "Downton Abbey"-lovin', romance advice-givin' NBA superstar with nothing but time on his hands.
Tune in to find out Keating and Jim's favorite versions of Johnny Depp, to learn about about the rapid rise of STD rates amongst the elderly and to hear all about the statues created depicting Jim's dad's penis.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by CRAM Trucks.
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We fired up the mics immediately after watching the 2017 Oscars, and we couldn't stop asking, "What the hell just happened?" because, uh, seriously: what the hell just happened?
We give you our analysis of what exactly transpired at the end of this year's now instantly infamous broadcast where Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway "presented" the Best Picture award.
We also spew our opinion on all the winners, all the losers, and all the surprises, as well as what we thought of Jimmy Kimmel as host, and who won our Oscar Pool.
So get in our tour bus, grab some candy from the sky, kiss Meryl Streep's hand and grit your teeth with both Denzel and Mel.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
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Disney's misguided cartoon about racism (they're actually against it this time), "Zootopia," received a 2016 Academy Award nomination for Animated Feature and is currently sitting at 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yet the best analogy the filmmakers could come up with to approach this prickly subject was to cast the feared majority groups as predatory animals capable of "going savage" and the fearful minority groups as prey. Hmm. The fact that drawing these parallels is incredibly abhorrent somehow eluded them.
The lead character, Judy Hopps (voiced by Ginnifer Goodwin) is a spunky little rabbit who trades on her underdog status while constantly threatening and intimidating anyone who tries to get in her way.
The secondary lead is Nick Wilde (voiced by Jason Bateman, who is pretty much the same sarcastic prick with a heart of gold that Bateman has played time and time again ever since "Arrested Development").
Zootopia's theme song, "Try Everything," by Shakira is easily one of the most annoying Disney songs ever written. It's not quite the same caliber as "It's a Small World," but it's certainly a contender.
We mock this giant Apple commercial for its muddled metaphors and its terrible sense of humor, but we also wonder what exactly happened to one particular species of mammal that is eerily missing from this movie: we humans.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by So-So.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Happy Valentine's Day! In honor of this special occasion, we discuss a movie that puts the romance back into terminal dementia, Nicholas Sparks's "The Notebook." It's the third time we've covered an MTV Movie Award winner for Best Kiss, but it won't be the last. We're talking to you, "Shakespeare in Love."
Rachel McAdams plays Allie Hamilton, a Southern belle with no trace of an accent whatsoever who attracts one GQ cover model after the next. She likes to paint, but that's about all of the character development we get from her.
Ryan Gosling plays Noah Calhoun, a poor blue-collar guy with only a giant mansion to his name. He can quote poetry, write daily love letters and do a bunch of other sappy romance novel stuff. You know, as all Southern backwater lumberyard workers do.
The moral of the story is that you should break up with your successful and charming beau in favor of an angry construction worker with borderline personality disorder because you used to like each other back in high school.
Enjoy!
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Mission Possible.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Kevin Smith's 1997 turd pile, "Chasing Amy," has 88% on Rotten Tomatoes. We didn't want to waste our time wading through this cesspool of a movie, but the critics didn't do their job, so we had to.
Ben Affleck plays Holden McNeil, a pompous stand in for Kevin Smith who continually spits out pseudo-intellectual diatribes about the meaning of love and what it is to be a true artist.
Jason Lee plays Banky Edwards, an ultra-sarcastic comic book inker who aggressively sabotages his best friend Holden's relationship in the hopes that Holden will one day decide to become gay and romantically love him instead.
Joey Lauren Adams plays Alyssa Jones, a lesbian who somehow falls for Holden's douchey persona, but the relationship quickly crumbles when Banky reveals to Holden that Alyssa had a promiscuous past.
Jim raps in this episode, so it's worth a listen just for that.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by New Taboo.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
The 2015 Academy darling "The Big Short" focuses on a band of sanctimonious Wall Street traders. The director of "Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues" and "The Other Guys," Adam McKay, has now decided that he’s a serious auteur filmmaker all the sudden. He took the very complicated subject of the 2007 market collapse and dumbed it down as much as possible to the point where the movie ends up being exceptionally boring and convoluted.
Throughout this film, numerous celebrity cameos tell us how high finance works. We suggest a few celebrities who they should they should have added into the mix.
The author of the story, Michael Lewis, habitually needs to turn every person he writes about into an eccentric underdog caricature when they are anything but. We're sorry, but the people who work at the top banks in world are not the little guy. These people aren't Robin Hoods. Yes, they stole from the rich, but instead of giving to the poor they lined their own pockets.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Long Con Silver's.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
On this special episode of Film Snuff, we are guiding you through the recently announced Oscar nominations for movies released in 2016 while also giving you our take on them.
We discuss the record-tying 14 nominations by "La La Land," Meryl Streep's 20th nomination, and, of course, Mel Gibson's surprise nod for Best Director.
Follow along by visiting filmsnuff.com/2017OscarNoms, where we have provided a list of the nominations in the order we read them.
Also, we are announcing our Film Snuff Oscar Pool that is open to any listeners who want to play. Just email us at mailbag@filmsnuff.com to sign up. The Top 5 winners will have their names read on our episode following the Academy Awards ceremony.
As always, follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.