Merry Christmas, you nosy little perverts! 'Tis the season to steal your parents' credit card, check into the Plaza Hotel and befriend a spooky Central Park pigeon lady with a secret lair inside Carnegie Hall. That's right—it's time to dissect everyone's favorite childhood sequel, "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York."
Macaulay Culkin reprises his role as Kevin McCallister, a sociopathic sadist who justifies his brutal torture of two hapless petty criminals under the guise of preventing a Christmas Eve burglary of a toy store that plans to donate its proceeds to a children's hospital. Somebody needs to teach this kid that vigilante justice is illegal and that insurance surely would have reimbursed the toy store owner for his loses.
Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are back as Harry and Marv, a duo of bumbling burglars who have escaped prison only to immediately run into the boy who put them there. In this film, they really take a licking, but they keep on sticking.
President Donald Trump also makes an appearance in the film as himself, a weird-coiffed, megalomaniacal douche-nozzle with small hands and an alleged micropenis.
Join us as we discuss our hatred of pigeons, the shittiness of the Talkboy, and the exact severity of Harry and Marv's injuries.
Links:
Talkboy commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anjyiO754hU
Talkboy commercial spoof: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9wgzUSsE_Y
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by CHRIST MASsacre.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
In this installment of our bonus segment "In Theaters," we give you our immediate reaction to seeing a new movie on the big screen. This time, we tackled the newest "Star Wars" episode, "The Last Jedi."
We discuss what we thought of Luke Skywalker's story, porgs, milked aliens, and which child actor we think Supreme Leader Snoke looks like.
**NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS**
Quick Facts
Release date: Dec. 15, 2017
Runtime: 2 hour 32 minutes
Starring: Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Domhnall Gleeson, Andy Serkis, Kelly Marie Tran, Benicio del Toro, Gwendoline Christie
Directed by: Rian Johnson
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Two years ago in a studio not far away.... J.J. "Jar-Jar" Abrams rebooted yet another franchise with "Star Wars: The Force Awakens." It's Disney's cynical ripoff of the original 1977 "Star Wars" plot, but it has a spherical R2-D2, an angsty, millennial Darth Vader with a slightly different lightsaber and a female Luke Skywalker. All of these decisions were unquestionably made in order to manipulate a whole new generation of children into begging their parents into purchasing a bunch of plastic toys made from earth-destroying chemicals (who needs the Death Star?).
Daisy Ridley plays Rey, a character whose family abandoned her as a child on the desert planet of Jakku without even a last name. At the beginning of the movie, she's selling space junk for scraps of bread, but, by the end of the movie, she's inexplicably beating up a 6'2" lifelong warrior who knows all kinds of Dark Side tricks and was trained as a Jedi Knight by Luke Skywalker himself.
Adam Driver plays Kylo Ren — Han Solo and Princess Leia's tantrum-throwing, Darth Vader wannabe of a son. He has somehow managed to become a high-ranking official in an evil interstellar organization known as The First Order, despite the fact that he demonstrates total incompetence in everything he does.
John Boyega plays Finn, a Stormtrooper who defects from The First Order after he is asked to massacre a village on his first mission. This was actually an interesting introduction to this new character, but the movie never even slightly develops him and instead merely makes him Rey's sidekick and occasional cheesy comic relief.
Oscar Issac, the highly-accomplished, Juilliard-trained actor who should have been nominated for an Oscar for his role in "Ex Machina," plays Poe Dameron, a happy-go-lucky resistance fighter pilot who spends most of his screen time making bad quips while flying around and blowing stuff up.
Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hammill, Peter Mayhew and Anthony Daniels play old Han Solo, old Princess Leia, old Luke Skywalker, old Chewbacca and old C-3PO respectively.
Join us as we wonder why the humans in this movie have either American, English or Scottish accents, what "force-sensitive" actually means, and whether the First Order's ships have toilets.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Ingrate & Barrel.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
In another installment of our bonus segment "In Theaters," we give you our immediate reaction to seeing a new movie on the big screen. This time, we tackled Greta Gurwig's solo directorial debut, "Lady Bird."
The film, which follows a teenage girl as she navigates her last year of high school in Sacramento, California during the year 2002, currently sits at 100% on Rotten Tomatoes and is surely on its way to Oscar glory.
But does it deserve all the praise? Listen and we'll give you our opinion on whether this bird soared, or merely laid an egg.
**NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS**
Quick Facts
Limited release date: Nov. 3, 2017
Runtime: 1 hour 34 minutes
Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Laurie Metcalf, Lucas Hedges, Tracy Letts
Directed by: Greta Gerwig
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
The 2012 hit film "Pitch Perfect," about dueling college a cappella groups is an "a-ca-terrible" combination of the movies "Dodgeball" and "Mean Girls," but instead of being funny, it is just a bunch of people lip-synching over-produced Auto-Tune vocals to songs we all rightly forgot about a while ago.
This movie projectile vomits a slew of ignorant comments about rape victims, Asian-Americans, lesbians, Jews and deaf people. These are all played for laughs, but they forgot that laughs are usually the result of jokes, not just saying random inappropriate things.
Anna Kendrick plays the literally too-cool-for-school Beca Mitchell, your typical angsty teen who loves to make mix tapes, and somehow believes this makes her a real musician. She dreams of moving to Los Angeles to work for a record label so she can then be a musician (which isn’t how that works), but has to first join an all-girls a cappella team for a year, or else her daddy won’t pay for her to move to LA.
Skylar Astin (who looks exactly like Dane Cook) plays Jesse, Anna Kendrick’s love interest who sings for the girls’ rival a cappella group. He loves the movie "The Breakfast Club" and thinks Simple Mind's song "Don't You (Forget About Me)" is the best original score in film history, because he doesn’t know what constitutes a film score apparently.
Rebel Wilson plays a girl who calls herself "Fat Amy" so "twiggy *******" won't call her that behind her back, because, ya know, body-shaming is wrong. She's a brash Australian who isn't funny at all. Oh, so is her character.
Adam Devine plays Bumper Allen, the egotistical leader of the girls' rival a cappella group. He has a crush on "Fat Amy" and also enjoys throwing burritos. He ends up becoming a back-up singer for John Mayer, who needs one for some reason.
Elizabeth Banks and John Michael Higgins play the announcers for these boring a cappella events, unabashedly ripping off Fred Willard’s character in "Best in Show," but forgetting to be funny.
Join us as we discuss DJs, how we would re-write this movie, and Osama bin Laden’s old a cappella days.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Vindictive Sound Bite.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.