The Best Picture winner for 1994 "Forrest Gump" is itself like a box of chocolates: filled sickly sweets that seem like they’re good on the surface, but end up being too nutty, gooey and annoyingly filled with shrimp.
It’s also a heaping slice of Americana pie topped with a scoop of Ok Boomer and served with a side of muddled message about destiny or something.
Tom Hanks plays Forrest Gump, a lovable simpleton who somehow gets involved in almost every famous event during the Baby Boomer generation’s maturation period.
Robin Wright plays Jenny who tells Forrest to run and does so herself. She enjoys leading on this ignoramus until she gets knocked up and terminally sick, so she settles for him.
Gary Sinise is doing his best Tom Cruise in “Born on the Fourth of July” impression in playing Lt. Dan, a guy who thinks he was supposed to, um, I guess lose in Vietnam, and he's really angry he survived. But eventually he gets over it, and then probably has a super interesting life, but we see none of it.
Then there's also Forrest's mama (Sally Field) who seems to bang her way into Forrest having a normal life at every step, and also Forrest's shrimp-obsessed Army buddy Bubba (Mykelti Williamson) who weirdly isn't in this movie as much as we first remembered.
Join us as we disagree with Forrest’s assertion that he’s going to Heaven, come up with new lyrics to the song "Imagine" and try to figure out which real-life self-made billionaire has the lowest IQ.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by the American Karen Anti-Defamation League.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
ALSO: Here's the clip of Haley Joel Osment on “Walker, Texas Ranger" that we discussed.
Get your potbelly pigs, concussions, and whipped cream bikinis ready, because we’re covering the 1999 after-school special "Varsity Blues," which tells the story of a jaded back-up quarterback at a small-town Texas high school who has to take over hero responsibilities when the star QB gets injured while also trying to take down their mean old coach.
This film predates the "Friday Night Lights" movie and subsequent TV show, but doesn’t predate the book, so clearly they were capitalizing on its popularity.
James Van Der Beek (Dawson Leery from "Dawson’s Creek") plays Jonathan Moxon, aka Mox, a not-credible movie genius who reads "Slaughterhouse-Five" a lot and therefore inexplicably gets a full-ride academic scholarship to Brown University for this.
The mean Coach Kilmer is played by Von Voigt, who thinks he’s actually in a good movie, because he’s trying to win another Oscar here.
Late actor Ron Lester plays fat-guy Billy Bob who is fighting constant concussions. Other late actor Paul Walker plays first-string quarterback Lance Harbor who gets injured, loses his future and is sad the whole time. Little person actor Scott Caan plays a fun-loving rapist teammate named Tweeder who shows the audience deep inside his anus.
Ali Larter plays Darcy, a supposed smart head cheerleader who is just trying to date whoever is the star quarterback so she can get out of this small town one day (rather than just go to college). Amy Smart plays Dawson’s quasi-goth bummer of a girlfriend who just spend the whole movie telling him he sucks for enjoying people liking him.
There’s also a weird stripper teacher incident, a zany little brother who may be a ghost and starts cults, and also a cameo by a very young Jesse Plemons.
Join us as we recall what a loud roommate Keating is, how creepy the Newbery Award looks, and as Jim remembers when he found out one of his former older lady coworkers secretly moonlighted as an escort.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by AXE Body Spray PPEs.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.