Info

Film Snuff

Tearing apart your favorite movies.
RSS Feed Subscribe in Apple Podcasts
Film Snuff
2021
January


2020
September
August
June
May
April
March
February


2019
August
May
April
March
February
January


2018
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2017
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2016
December
November
October
September


All Episodes
Archives
Now displaying: 2017
Dec 19, 2017

Merry Christmas, you nosy little perverts! 'Tis the season to steal your parents' credit card, check into the Plaza Hotel and befriend a spooky Central Park pigeon lady with a secret lair inside Carnegie Hall. That's right—it's time to dissect everyone's favorite childhood sequel, "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York."

Macaulay Culkin reprises his role as Kevin McCallister, a sociopathic sadist who justifies his brutal torture of two hapless petty criminals under the guise of preventing a Christmas Eve burglary of a toy store that plans to donate its proceeds to a children's hospital. Somebody needs to teach this kid that vigilante justice is illegal and that insurance surely would have reimbursed the toy store owner for his loses.

Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are back as Harry and Marv, a duo of bumbling burglars who have escaped prison only to immediately run into the boy who put them there. In this film, they really take a licking, but they keep on sticking.

President Donald Trump also makes an appearance in the film as himself, a weird-coiffed, megalomaniacal douche-nozzle with small hands and an alleged micropenis.

Join us as we discuss our hatred of pigeons, the shittiness of the Talkboy, and the exact severity of Harry and Marv's injuries. 

Links:

Talkboy commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anjyiO754hU

Talkboy commercial spoof: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9wgzUSsE_Y

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by CHRIST MASsacre. 

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Dec 18, 2017

In this installment of our bonus segment "In Theaters," we give you our immediate reaction to seeing a new movie on the big screen. This time, we tackled the newest "Star Wars" episode, "The Last Jedi."

We discuss what we thought of Luke Skywalker's story, porgs, milked aliens, and which child actor we think Supreme Leader Snoke looks like. 

**NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS**

Quick Facts

Release date: Dec. 15, 2017

Runtime: 2 hour 32 minutes

Starring: Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Domhnall Gleeson, Andy Serkis, Kelly Marie Tran, Benicio del Toro, Gwendoline Christie

Directed by: Rian Johnson

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Dec 12, 2017

Two years ago in a studio not far away.... J.J. "Jar-Jar" Abrams rebooted yet another franchise with "Star Wars: The Force Awakens." It's Disney's cynical ripoff of the original 1977 "Star Wars" plot, but it has a spherical R2-D2, an angsty, millennial Darth Vader with a slightly different lightsaber and a female Luke Skywalker. All of these decisions were unquestionably made in order to manipulate a whole new generation of children into begging their parents into purchasing a bunch of plastic toys made from earth-destroying chemicals (who needs the Death Star?).

Daisy Ridley plays Rey, a character whose family abandoned her as a child on the desert planet of Jakku without even a last name. At the beginning of the movie, she's selling space junk for scraps of bread, but, by the end of the movie, she's inexplicably beating up a 6'2" lifelong warrior who knows all kinds of Dark Side tricks and was trained as a Jedi Knight by Luke Skywalker himself.

Adam Driver plays Kylo Ren — Han Solo and Princess Leia's tantrum-throwing, Darth Vader wannabe of a son. He has somehow managed to become a high-ranking official in an evil interstellar organization known as The First Order, despite the fact that he demonstrates total incompetence in everything he does.

John Boyega plays Finn, a Stormtrooper who defects from The First Order after he is asked to massacre a village on his first mission. This was actually an interesting introduction to this new character, but the movie never even slightly develops him and instead merely makes him Rey's sidekick and occasional cheesy comic relief.

Oscar Issac, the highly-accomplished, Juilliard-trained actor who should have been nominated for an Oscar for his role in "Ex Machina," plays Poe Dameron, a happy-go-lucky resistance fighter pilot who spends most of his screen time making bad quips while flying around and blowing stuff up. 

Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hammill, Peter Mayhew and Anthony Daniels play old Han Solo, old Princess Leia, old Luke Skywalker, old Chewbacca and old C-3PO respectively.

Join us as we wonder why the humans in this movie have either American, English or Scottish accents, what "force-sensitive" actually means, and whether the First Order's ships have toilets. 

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Ingrate & Barrel. 

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Dec 10, 2017

In another installment of our bonus segment "In Theaters," we give you our immediate reaction to seeing a new movie on the big screen. This time, we tackled Greta Gurwig's solo directorial debut, "Lady Bird."

The film, which follows a teenage girl as she navigates her last year of high school in Sacramento, California during the year 2002, currently sits at 100% on Rotten Tomatoes and is surely on its way to Oscar glory. 

But does it deserve all the praise? Listen and we'll give you our opinion on whether this bird soared, or merely laid an egg.

**NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS**

Quick Facts

Limited release date: Nov. 3, 2017

Runtime: 1 hour 34 minutes

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Laurie Metcalf, Lucas Hedges, Tracy Letts

Directed by: Greta Gerwig

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Dec 5, 2017

The 2012 hit film "Pitch Perfect," about dueling college a cappella groups is an "a-ca-terrible" combination of the movies "Dodgeball" and "Mean Girls," but instead of being funny, it is just a bunch of people lip-synching over-produced Auto-Tune vocals to songs we all rightly forgot about a while ago.

This movie projectile vomits a slew of ignorant comments about rape victims, Asian-Americans, lesbians, Jews and deaf people. These are all played for laughs, but they forgot that laughs are usually the result of jokes, not just saying random inappropriate things.

Anna Kendrick plays the literally too-cool-for-school Beca Mitchell, your typical angsty teen who loves to make mix tapes, and somehow believes this makes her a real musician. She dreams of moving to Los Angeles to work for a record label so she can then be a musician (which isn’t how that works), but has to first join an all-girls a cappella team for a year, or else her daddy won’t pay for her to move to LA.

Skylar Astin (who looks exactly like Dane Cook) plays Jesse, Anna Kendrick’s love interest who sings for the girls’ rival a cappella group. He loves the movie "The Breakfast Club" and thinks Simple Mind's song "Don't You (Forget About Me)" is the best original score in film history, because he doesn’t know what constitutes a film score apparently.

Rebel Wilson plays a girl who calls herself "Fat Amy" so "twiggy *******" won't call her that behind her back, because, ya know, body-shaming is wrong. She's a brash Australian who isn't funny at all. Oh, so is her character.

Adam Devine plays Bumper Allen, the egotistical leader of the girls' rival a cappella group. He has a crush on "Fat Amy" and also enjoys throwing burritos. He ends up becoming a back-up singer for John Mayer, who needs one for some reason.

Elizabeth Banks and John Michael Higgins play the announcers for these boring a cappella events, unabashedly ripping off Fred Willard’s character in "Best in Show," but forgetting to be funny.

Join us as we discuss DJs, how we would re-write this movie, and Osama bin Laden’s old a cappella days.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Vindictive Sound Bite.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Nov 28, 2017

We will not have what she's having! The 1989 Rob Reiner-directed and Nora Ephron-written vehicle "When Harry Met Sally...” ushered in Meg Ryan as a leading lady and has been a pox on all of our houses ever since. We know that this movie is fiction because it pretends 41-year-old Billy Crystal is a twenty-something Lothario who has slept with so many women that he may need to leave New York City.

Billy Crystal plays Harry Burns, a supposed political consultant, and Meg Ryan plays Sally Albright, a supposed hard-hitting journalist, even though we never see either of them do a lick of work. But they must be successful because they are both insanely rich with their gigantic Manhattan high-rise apartments. The story follows these two unlikable characters over 12 years, even though they only really know each other for the last year and a half. So, why 12 years?

The cast also features the late Carrie Fisher and the late Bruno Kirby as Harry and Sally's friends who are equally despicable New Yorkers.

This movie has it all—fake female orgasms, old-people-in-love testimonials, wagon wheel coffee tables, power walking and even former President Gerald Ford's son.

Join us as we do impressions of hack comedians from the '80s, discuss whether or not men and women can be friends and wonder whatever happened to The Sharper Image.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Parent Muzzle.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Nov 21, 2017

The 1990 fairytale "Edward Scissorhands" about an artificial man named Edward—an unfinished creation who has scissor blades instead of hands—is in and of itself a movie that's an artificial and unfinished creation. Tim Burton lathers the film with his usual coating of visual flair, but adds no substance beneath it.

The picture leans hard on Danny Elfman's fantastic original score to try to convince the audience that there's some meaning behind all the pastel houses and forced romance. There isn't.

Johnny Depp plays the title character, a Frankenstein's monster who seems to have been created after his inventor (played by Vincent Price, in his final movie role) saw a heart-shaped cookie and held it up to a robot. Ya know, as you do.

Winona Ryder plays Kim Boggs, the object of Edward's affection throughout the film, and that's pretty much it.

Dianne Wiest plays Kim's mom, the local Avon lady for this seemingly completely isolated suburb who adopts Edward and makes him a part of her family—one that includes her vacant husband (played by Alan Arkin) and her flippant son (played by the nerd kid from "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.")

Also, Anthony Michael Hall is in this movie, trying his hardest to curb being typecast by now playing a bully. But, just like this movie, it doesn't work.

Join us as we discuss the waterbed's rise and fall in popularity in the 1980s; Keating’s love of Internet abbreviations (much to Jim’s chagrin); and why Edward’s inventor cruelly decided to give him a penis before hands.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Black and Blue Tactical Riot Gear.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Nov 14, 2017

Garry Marshall's 1990 blockbuster film, "Pretty Woman," is a Cinderella story, if Cinderella were a $100-per-hour call girl and Prince Charming were a Wall Street douche with daddy issues. The movie can't seem to decide if money is the root of all evil or if having a bunch of it solves everyone's problems.

Julia Roberts plays Vivian Ward, your quintessential hooker with a heart of gold who is sometimes a naive Southern bumpkin but then randomly also a savvy, capable businesswoman who shuns having a pimp.

Richard Gere plays Edward Lewis, a rich corporate raider and womanizer from New York who is also somehow the kindest man in the world and just needs this prostitute to make him change his money-loving ways.

Jason Alexander plays Phillip Stuckey, Gere's ultra-slimy lawyer who helps him execute underhanded deals involving crooked politicians. Once Stuckey learns that Julia Roberts is a working girl, he starts creeping on her and ultimately attempts to force himself upon her.

Laura San Giacomo (Maya from "Just Shoot Me") plays Kit De Luca, Julia Roberts' wisecracking friend and roommate, who taught her the prostitution trade.

Héctor Elizondo plays Barney Thompson, the kind hotel manager who helps Julia Roberts out. Let’s face it: he is basically this movie's Fairy Godmother.

Join us as we discuss how this movie was basically an advertisement for the Lotus Esprit sports car, what the original, much grittier script was like, and as we get to the bottom of the whole Richard Gere gerbil rumor.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Damage Deflection.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Nov 7, 2017

"Your [filmmakers] were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should." –Dr. Ian Malcolm

The fourth installment of the "Jurassic Park" franchise from 2015, "Jurassic World," is yet another mediocre sequel to the original 1993 masterpiece. The story is unoriginal, the characters are annoying cartoons and the special effects aren't even as realistic as the first one, despite 22 years of CGI advancement.

Chris Pratt plays Owen Grady, a former Navy dude who now trains attack Velociraptors for a super shady Blackwater-esque organization, but somehow he is shocked that his employers have plans to use the raptors for exactly what he trained them to do.

Bryce Dallas Howard plays Claire Dearing, the Jurassic World Operations Manager who somehow directly oversees every single aspect of how the park runs, including genetic development and security, but after disaster strikes, we find out that she has virtually no knowledge of many of her areas of responsibility.

Vincent D'Onofrio plays Vic Hoskins, a stereotypical militaristic bad guy character who brazenly uses Claire's accidental unleashing of a genetically-engineered super raptor in order to field test Chris Pratt’s raptors.

B.D. Wong plays Dr. Henry Wu, a geneticist who worked at the original Jurassic Park and is now inexplicably a villain bent on creating murderous super dinos FOR NO REASON.

Irrfan Khan plays Simon Masrani, a Richard Branson-esque billionaire playboy who took over the dinosaur park business after John Hammond's death.

Jake Johnson and Lauren Lapkus play grating employees in the park's control room who make viewers of the film want to claw their own eyes out and deafen themselves.

Nick Robinson and Ty Simpkins play the Mitchell boys, two moron kids who repeatedly disobey Jurassic World's rules and land themselves in extreme danger. As far as we're concerned, these two should have been left to die for their misdeeds. 

Judy Greer plays mama Mitchell, an emotional wreck who ships her kids off to Jurassic World under the supervision of her estranged sister while she secretly divorces her uber douchey husband. 

Join us as we discuss the best prison wines, which movies starred Bryce Dallas Howard or Jessica Chastain, and why we hate the Margaritaville restaurant chain. 

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Phase Out Buddy.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Oct 31, 2017

Happy Halloween! Back in the year 1996, famed horror director Wes Craven and the dude who made "Dawson’s Creek," Kevin Williamson, got together to produce an ultra-self-referential stabfest called "Scream." It led to three sequels as well as a TV series, and it launched the careers of some of the most annoying people the '90s had to offer.

Neve Campbell plays Sidney Prescott, a virginal 23-year-old high school student who can inexplicably beat up accomplished murderers twice her size.

1-800-COLLECT spokesperson David Arquette plays the same weirdo character he played in every movie he has ever been cast in. Why was this guy a thing?

Courteney Cox plays Gale Weathers, a tabloid TV journalist who nowadays would be the most well-respected person on CNN.

Skeet Ulrich plays Billy Loomis, a poor man's Johnny Depp who loves comparing his relationship with Neve Campbell to the MPAA rating system.

Matthew Lillard is the biggest toolbag ever. And that's it.

Jamie Kennedy plays Randy Meeks, a movie-obsessed video store clerk who loves lecturing his peers on about the rules of slasher movies, like all those annoying pricks you went to high school with.

Drew Barrymore plays Casey Becker. She dies in the first scene and watching her get murdered is the best part of the movie.

Liev Schreiber weirdly is in this movie for 15 seconds on a TV screen.

Henry Winkler plays Principal Himbry. Too bad he didn’t jump any sharks in this one.

Join us as we learn of Jim's undying hatred of Matthew Lillard, Keating's hatred of Jamie Kennedy, and how the Blue Collar Comedy Tour is connected to Harvey Weinstein.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Fatbit.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Oct 24, 2017

If you build it (a baseball field for ghosts who were banned from the major leagues for cheating) and you kidnap a civil rights activist, he (the ghost of your estranged dad) will come. As a fringe benefit, a bunch of sightseers will also show up so you can turn your home into a profitable tourist trap.

The elaborate 1989 séance/time travel film, "Field of Dreams," was nominated for three Oscars, including Best Picture, and is said to make grown men cry. It certainly made us cry, but for different reasons. 

Kevin Costner plays Ray Kinsella, a schizophrenic farmer with major daddy issues who bankrupts his family by following the instructions he receives from the voices in his head.

Ray Liotta plays the ghost of Shoeless Joe Jackson, a sympathetic specter of the disgraced baseball legend. The film's version of Shoeless Joe ignores the fact that he was a left-handed batter, and it also ignores his characteristic dull-wittedness in favor of some sort of sage-like omniscience mixed in with weird maniacal hatred of Ty Cobb.

James Earl Jones plays Terence Mann, a '60s civil rights activist and author who has given up on the world and become a curmudgeonly recluse. After being kidnapped, Jones gets Stockholm syndrome and also somehow catches Kevin Costner’s schizophrenia because he too starts hearing voices. He also ends up becoming a ghost or something.

Join us as we wonder why there would be ghost umpires at this baseball field, if the old doctor was cheating on his wife, and why this movie's hashtag should be "#MAGA."

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Slutty Icons.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Oct 17, 2017

Lasse Hallström's 1999 Oscar darling "The Cider House Rules" is crafted to seem like a heartwarming coming-of-age story about leaving childhood behind, falling in love for the first time and accepting adult responsibilities. However, under the schmaltzy score and eccentric characters, it's really just an incoherent pro-choice diatribe that ends up having nothing to say on the issue. 

Tobey Maguire plays Homer Wells, an orphan who was taught how to perform abortions against his will and then becomes an apple picker. 

Michael Caine plays Dr. Wilbur Larch, a ether-addicted obstetrician and gynecologist who forces Homer Wells to do his bidding. 

Charlize Theron plays Candy Kendall, a mercurial daughter of a lobsterman who has an abortion at an orphanage and then cheats on her boyfriend as he fights in WWII with Homer. 

Paul Rudd plays Wally Worthington, the aforementioned Charlize boyfriend who invites Homer into his life, only to have him bang his lady while he's away at war. 

Join us as we try to determine what accent Paul Rudd was doing here, create a disturbing new superhero, and wonder why this abortion of a movie won Oscars.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by New-and-Improved Glory.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Oct 10, 2017

We want to introduce you to a brand-new bonus segment we'll be doing sporadically on Film Snuff that we're calling "In Theaters." This is our immediate reaction after seeing a new movie we're interested in that was just widely released theatrically.

In this debut installment of In Theaters, we discuss "Blade Runner 2049," the sequel 35 years in the making to Ridley Scott's 1982 cult classic "Blade Runner."

Ryan Gosling plays Officer K, a blade runner for the Los Angeles Police Department 30 years after the events of the first film. Officer K unearths a long-buried secret that has the potential to plunge what's left of society into chaos. His discovery leads him on a quest to find Rick Deckard (with Harrison Ford reprising his role from the original film), a former Blade Runner who's been missing since 2019.

**NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS**

Quick Facts

Released widely: Oct. 6, 2017

Runtime: 2 hours 43 minutes

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Harrison Ford, Jared Leto, Robin Wright, Ana de Armas, Sylvia Hoeks, Mackenzie Davis

Directed by: Denis Villeneuve

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Oct 3, 2017

G'day, mates! The 1986 Aussie-American comedy "Crocodile Dundee" takes us deep into the Outback on a harrowin’ journey with poisonous snakes, gun-totin’ roos and giant rubber crocs. It also takes us to New York City where the hero of the story goes around Manhattan while casually assaulting newspaper editors, pimps, cross-dressers and small-knife-wielding, would-be muggers.

Paul Hogan plays Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee, a possibly magical, fun-lovin’ big-knife-wielding bloke who enjoys knocking unsuspecting people unconscious, shooting at drunken idiots and poaching protected wildlife. He's perfectly content walking about the world by himself until he meets a "sheila" with a nice arse and is quickly swept away.

Linda Kozlowski plays Sue Charlton, a plucky young reporter who enjoys cheating on her boyfriend and jet setting around the world to write trivial articles while exclusively staying in extravagant 5-star hotels because her daddy owns the newspaper she works for. 

Reginald VelJohnson (Carl Winslow from "Family Matters") plays Gus, the newspaper's apparent full-time kindly limo driver who loves to drink on the job and throw makeshift boomerangs at pimps.

Join us as we recount a time we almost got charged by an angry bull, as we wonder why Americans were so obsessed with Australia in the 1980s, and as we try to come up with interesting slogans for cocaine.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by No Regret It Credit.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Sep 26, 2017

Back in the year 2000, Nancy Meyers made "What Women Want," another installment in her series of battle of the sexes films that purport to be pro-women but are anything but. She seems to believe that the only thing women want is to find a bad boy and make him want to change his ways just for her.

Mel Gibson plays Nick Marshall, a Don Draperesque old-school chauvinist advertising executive who exploits women until he is electrocuted and granted the magical power to read women's minds.

Helen Hunt plays Darcy Maguire, a newly appointed creative director at a historically misogynistic advertising agency who falls victim to Mel Gibson’s powers. Like all Nancy Meyers female lead characters, her only flaws are that she cares about everything too much and has too much love to give.

Marisa Tomei plays Lola, a sexy young coffee shop barista and aspiring actress whose whole purpose in the movie is to be manipulated, used for sex and discarded in favor of the Nancy Meyers stand-in character.

Sarah Paulson plays Annie, an Ivy League educated assistant to Mel Gibson who bitterly goes about her work and misuses company resources to talk to her boyfriend in Israel.

And, Judy Greer plays Erin the File Girl, a sad employee of the ad firm who constantly thinks suicidal thoughts at work. Eventually, Gibson gets wind that she’s going to off herself and he convinces her not to go through with it by offering her a promotion.

Join us as we talk about wanting to join the Nancy Meyers Fan Club just to infiltrate it from the inside, how this movie ripped off "Ernest Goes to Jail," why simply giving a promotion to a suicidal employee doesn’t help anything, and we also sing the theme song to "Family Matters" for no reason.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Dingle Berries.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Sep 19, 2017

In Part 2 of our discussion about Canadian madman James Cameron's 1997 blockbuster film "Titanic," we go through the second half of the movie, which essentially feels like a different picture than its first half.

Where that half was a fruity love story, this part is more of an action film. This is clearly where most of the budget was spent in all of its freezing, flailing, falling and frantic frenzy. 

Leonardo DiCaprio plays Jack Dawson, a penniless orphan vagabond who enjoys gambling, drawing nudie pics and ridiculing one-legged prostitutes.

Kate Winslet plays Rose DeWitt Bukater, a suicidal Philadelphia socialite who believes that being an unhappy rich girl is equivalent to being a slave.

Billy Zane plays Caledon Nathan Hockley, a violent and possessive rich guy with no taste in art who travels with a homicidal sidekick.

Bill Paxton plays Brock Lovett, an earring-clad deep sea explorer who gleefully scours the remains of a horrible catastrophe looking for treasure. 

Join us as we question topics like hypothermia, the whole could-they-both-fit-on-the-door nonsense, Old Rose's monstrous behavior, the cheesy alternative ending, and also: What we would do if we were on the ship while it was going down.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Techno Edge.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Sep 12, 2017

It's our one-year anniversary! And, as promised, we're celebrating this milestone by tearing apart one of the most overrated movies of all time: James Cameron's "Titanic."

Now, we're covering the first half of this 3-hour epic in this episode, and we'll tackle the second half of the movie next week, so buckle up.

You all know the story: two star-crossed lovers overcome their socioeconomic differences only to then experience one of the worst maritime disasters of the 20th century. This cheeseball mess somehow won 11 Oscars and not 11 Razzies. Go figure. 

Leonardo DiCaprio plays Jack Dawson, a penniless orphan vagabond who enjoys gambling, drawing nudie pics and ridiculing one-legged prostitutes.

Kate Winslet plays Rose DeWitt Bukater, a suicidal Philadelphia socialite who believes that being an unhappy rich girl is equivalent to being a slave.

Billy Zane plays Caledon Nathan Hockley, a violent and possessive rich guy with no taste in art who travels with a homicidal sidekick.

Bill Paxton plays Brock Lovett, an earring-clad deep sea explorer who gleefully scours the remains of a horrible catastrophe looking for treasure. 

Join us as we celebrate Film Snuff's one-year anniversary in style as we explore important topics, like whether or not Kathy Bates has a Mr. Skin profile and if the Italian stereotype character in this grew up to be a Mario Brother (he does get smashed by a giant pipe later in the movie).

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Techno Ledge.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Sep 5, 2017

The 1993 inspirational (to idiots) sports drama, "Rudy," is based on a true story—meaning that it’s mostly made up. Most of the characters never existed, and all the events are misconstrued to make it seem like this little manipulative weasel actually accomplished something special. He didn't.

Sean Astin plays Rudy, a mediocre high school football player who wouldn't give up until he schemed his way into the University of Notre Dame and onto the football team. Like any true heroic journey, the process entailed a lot of butt kissing, begging and lying.

Jon Favreau plays D-Bob, a lecherous douche who becomes fast friends with Rudy after realizing that, although they have different goals, they are cut from the same repugnant cloth.

Charles S. Dutton plays Fortune, a mysterious groundskeeper with a heart of gold who may or may not be a ghost. He doesn’t realize how awful Rudy is, and he inadvertently mentors him throughout the execution of his Machiavellian plan.

And weirdly Vince Vaughn is in this movie.

Join us as we discuss some incriminating facts about the real-life Rudy, our thoughts on motivational speakers, and why this movie should be forgotten.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Shame Co.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Aug 29, 2017

The 1989 megahit Disney flick, "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" is allegedly a fun comedic science fiction movie for children. In fact, it's actually a disturbing horror film. During their harrowing journey, the shrunken kids narrowly escape getting crushed to death by falling debris, drowning in a flood, getting attacked by giant insects, being chopped to bits by a lawnmower and being eaten alive. Despite the kids' ability to defy death, they still have to witness their beloved pet ant get murdered right before their eyes!

Rick Moranis plays Wayne Szalinski, an absentminded scientist who invents a dangersome shrink ray capable of instantly destroying organic material, and he leaves it running in an unlocked room in the home he shares with his two children. In addition to being a negligent parent, his relationship with wife is tenuous. We have to hope that they don't get divorced, even though his family would be much safer getting as far from this man as humanly possible. 

Join us as we discuss every detail of this creepy classic, clarify Einstein’s contributions to science, and discover why Keating's childhood dog died.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Release Belt.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Aug 22, 2017

Damien Chazelle's 2016 musical "La La Land” follows an age-old tradition of blatantly making movies for the sole purpose of licking Hollywood's balls in order to win Oscars. It’s right on par with other transparently pandering piles of garbage like 2014’s “Birdman,” 2012’s “Argo” and 2011’s “The Artist.” The only way these filmmakers could have tried harder to win would have been to go door-to-door and give head to each and every member of the Academy. Only they and their therapists will ever know the truth.

Emma Stone plays Mia, an aspiring actress who is supposed to be incredibly good at what she does because she’s able to summon tears while holding a cell phone, but people just don’t see her alleged brilliance. Then, she meets a man who inspires her to write a one-woman show, which leads her to the stardom she always wanted, but their relationship ends because she has to go to Paris for a couple months.

Ryan Gosling plays Sebastian, an overly-nostalgic, jazz-obsessed lunatic with a stool fetish. When he’s not breaking out into song or tap dancing, he has to play humiliating gigs in order to support himself. After he finally lands a gig that both allows him to play with talented musicians and save money for his goal of one day opening his own jazz club, his girlfriend Mia immediately turns on him for being a sellout, and they break up.

Yes, this movie won six Oscars (well, seven, for a few minutes). 

Join us as we discuss what Jonathan Lipnicki would sound like if he were a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, how a movie theater usher was blinded by a Hot Tamale during a candy fight, and some better lyrics to the loathsome songs on this soundtrack.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by RelationshipRenaissance.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Aug 15, 2017

Get your head out of a horse's *** and join us as we discuss former President William Jefferson Clinton's favorite film, the 1984 classic, "Police Academy." The movie made $146M at the box office and spawned six sequels as well as a short-lived TV series. It's only a matter of time before J.J. Abrams or one of the Nolan brothers makes a gritty reboot or prequel.

Steve Guttenberg plays Cadet Carey Mahoney, a smart aleck who's forced to join the police academy rather than face jail time for criminal destruction of property. Much to his surprise, good ol' Mahoney quickly falls in love with one of his fellow cadets and ends up deciding that he actually wants to be a cop.

David Graf plays Cadet Tackleberry, a trigger-happy maniac. In hindsight, Tackleberry's shoot-first, ask-questions-later policy is no longer the fount of comedic gold it was once considered.

Bubba Smith plays Cadet Hightower, a colossal florist-turned-cop who doesn't take kindly to racist remarks. Hightower's performance is full of zany strongman antics, including: smashing over brick wall, overturning a cop car and knocking a guy out with one punch.

Michael Winslow plays Larvell Jones, a human sound effects machine who, in retrospect, seems like he needs some serious mental help to overcome his severe neuropsychiatric disorder.

Kim Cattrall of "Sex and the City" fame plays Cadet Karen Thompson, a rich girl whose character is never really fleshed out, but she is thrown into the mix to be Mahoney's love/flesh interest.

Join us as we discuss an alternate reality where "Police Academy" didn't exist and Jim struggles to pronounce names. 

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by BoycottBypass.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Aug 8, 2017

The 2008 Best Picture winner, "Slumdog Millionaire," is a fake episode of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” set in India with an evil version of Regis Philbin. Despite the fact that the questions they ask are extremely easy, Evil Reege suspects the winning contestant of cheating and turns him over to corrupt cops who attempt to torture a confession out of him. This is the actual plot of this movie.

Dev Patel plays 18-year-old Jamal Malik, a clean-cut charismatic young man who speaks both Hindi and the Queen’s English perfectly, but we’re supposed to believe that he came from the deepest depths of poverty and spent his youth as an uneducated, parentless street urchin. We’d sooner believe Sir Benedict Cumberbatch was from the slums.

Model-turned-actress Freida Pinto plays Latika, Jamal’s supposed lifelong soulmate even though they never spent more than a day together between age 8 and 18 and hardly knew each other.

Anil Kapoor plays Prem Kumar (aka Evil Regis), a psychopathic game show host who vehemently hates Jamal for successfully answering a few simple quiz questions.

Irrfan Khan plays a police inspector who initially tortures and mistrusts Jamal until he decides that Jamal is telling the truth and transforms into a really nice dude.

Join us as we talk about the worst places to put chili powder and how the invention of the orphan blinder revolutionized the begging industry.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by ServiceWeasels.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Aug 1, 2017

"Ecclesiastes assures us... that there is a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to laugh... and a time to weep. A time to mourn... and there is a time to dance.” - Ren McCormack

The 1984 musical drama, “Footloose,” makes viewers laugh at its afterschool special-caliber plot…and weep about the fact Kenny Loggins was nominated for both an Oscar and a Grammy for the title song. It makes us mourn the 110 minutes we wasted watching it…and it makes us want to dance directly into an oncoming train.

Applewood-smoked Kevin Bacon plays Ren McCormack, a dance-crazed gymnast who's forced to move from Chicago to a small religious town where dancing is illegal after his father abandons his family.

John Lithgow plays Reverend Shaw Moore, a silver-tongued preacher who rules his town by issuing fiery pronouncements from the pulpit. After his dunce son died while driving drunk and acting like a moron, he decided to ban everyone from dancing. He also viciously slaps his daughter at one point.

Lori Singer plays Ariel Moore, a rebellious preacher’s daughter whose entire identity revolves around the death of her brother and punishing her father. Her favorite pastime is putting her friends’ lives in grave danger.

Chris Penn plays Willard Hewitt, a super-friendly hick who learns some bizarre dance moves that wouldn’t be well-suited for prom, or any other social occasion.

Sarah Jessica Parker plays Rusty, Ariel’s gossipy BFF who has the hots for Bacon, but settles for Penn.

Join us as we discuss Jim’s aversion to glitter and how 80s movies love to perpetuate the reefer madness myth.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Peewee CTE.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Jul 25, 2017

Opa! The 2002 Nia Vardalos one-woman-show-turned-movie, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” seems like it should have been a Lifetime channel original. However, it somehow became the highest grossing romantic comedy film of all time, and it still retains that distinction by a significant margin over 15 years later. Watching the film did feel like being at a wedding, but that’s only because it was super cheesy, it felt like you were forced to be there and it would have been a lot easier to get through if you were really drunk. 

Nia Vardalos plays Toula Portokalos, a 30-year-old virgin who spent her life contemptuously doing everything her overprotective xenophobic parents expected of her, and she was somehow astonished that this strategy didn’t result in happiness. After attending college for about a week, Toula transforms herself from a shy, inarticulate weirdo into an alluring and confident businesswoman.

John Corbett plays Ian Miller, a manic pixie dream guy with absolutely no dimension to his character other than being a school teacher and a vegetarian, but we're supposed to overlook his lack of depth because he constantly has a cute smile plastered on his face.

Join us as we discuss how Greek children don’t have a monopoly on being utterly embarrassed by their families, Keating’s dad’s home-brewed Windex recipes and how funny Alzheimer’s disease can be.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Scarebnb.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Jul 18, 2017

Hey, you guys! We all loved Richard Donner’s 1985 adventure comedy, “The Goonies,” as kids, but do we really have to spend the rest of our lives pretending that it is a quality film? Sure, Jeff Cohen’s portrayal of Chunk is brilliant, but the rest of the movie smells like Phys Ed.

Oscar-nominated filmmaker Sean Astin plays Mikey, a greedy bracefaced dunce who leads his friends into enormous peril so that he can bail out his deadbeat parents who haven’t been making their mortgage payments.

Oscar-nominated actor Josh Brolin plays Brand, Mikey's workout-obsessed bandana-wearin’ older brother who doesn’t really do much in the film other than attract a girl who barely knows how to play the piano.

Jeff Cohen plays Chunk, a gentle soul who wanted nothing to do with this misguided quest and ultimately ends up saving everyone’s lives, including the bad guys, by using his undeniable charisma to befriend a Herculean behemoth.

Corey Feldman plays Mouth, an annoying narcissistic jerk who translates Spanish throughout the film for both good and evil.

Jonathan Ke Quan plays Data, a mediocre inventor whose zany gadgets are even less believable than the legend of One-Eyed Willy.

Kerri Green plays Andy, a cheerleader with dubious piano knowledge who spends half the movie screaming and the other half playing kissy-face.

Emmy Award-winning actress Martha Plimpton plays Stef, a ball-bustin’ friend of Andy’s who, along with Josh Brolin’s character, doesn’t really do anything throughout the film.

Oscar-nominated actress Anne Ramsey plays Mama Fratelli, the evil baby-dropping ringleader of the Fratelli gang.

Razzie Award-nominated actor Robert Davi plays Jake Fratelli, an opera-singing escaped convict who longs for his mama’s approval.

Emmy Award-winning actor Joe Pantoliano (a.k.a. Joey Pants) plays Francis Fratelli, a toupéed bumbling stooge who laughs like a hyena.

Two-time Super Bowl champion John Matuszak plays Sloth, a deformed and mistreated colossus who loves Errol Flynn movies, Baby Ruth bars, and Chunk.

Join us as Keating takes a bullet to save a slice of pizza and we remove a bowling ball from Ron Jeremy’s rear end.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by BacheloretteDoppler.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

1 2 3 Next »