In 2000, Robert Zemeckis made "Cast Away," the longest FedEx commercial in history that masquerades as a trapped-on-a-desert-island story. Granted, the middle section of the film where Tom Hanks is marooned isn't terrible, but the pair of audience-insulting bookending acts that surround it replace any good will that created with seething anger.
Tom Hanks plays Chuck Noland, a man with no time because of his demanding job at FedEx, who is the lone survivor of a plane crash over the Pacific—and then washes ashore a small, uninhabited island in the middle of nowhere.
His deteriorated mental state (which weirdly happens within days) makes him need to paint a face in his own blood on a Wilson-branded volleyball so he has something to talk to. He struggles to survive for years, and eventually is motivated to build a boat to escape by wanting to return a package to its sender and by wanting badly to see his girlfriend again.
Unfortunately his girlfriend played by Helen Hunt has in the meantime married some other dude and had a kid with him. So when Hanks does return, it was all for nothing. Her character is hardly developed, so we don't ultimately care. But it is annoying that everyone close to him blames him for getting stuck on a desert island.
Join us as we wonder if Robert Zemeckis secretly bought stock in FedEx while making this movie, Jim recalls a teacher he hates from grade school, and we sing some Springsteen covers.
ALSO: Here's the link to the Wilson's website where you can buy a bloody volleyball.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Busted Nut.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
The Kevin Costner vanity project "Dances with Wolves" beat "GoodFellas" for Best Picture in 1990. That's right, this three-hour goofy slog that was heralded as the first movie not to have two-dimensional Native American characters, took home the gold statue. The problem? Even if its Lakota characters had actual names and dialogue, they're still depicted as Noble Savages who seem more like cavemen than fleshed-out individuals.
Kevin Costner clownishly plays a Civil War Union soldier named Lt. John Dunbar who goes on a suicide mission rather than have his leg amputated and then is considered brave when he doesn't die miraculously. This hero status then gives him the opportunity to go to any military post he desires, and he chooses one out in the Western American Frontier, because, as he says, "He wants to see it before it's gone." Right, because he knew in 1863 that Walmarts would soon be everywhere (just the first of many heavy-handed environmental messages Costner shoves down our throats). Dunbar then meets the Lakota tribe, befriends them, and then eventually becomes one of them, shunning his American identity forever.
Mary McDonnell plays Stands With A Fist, a white woman whose family was killed by the Pawnee, and then was found and adopted by the Lakota. Of course, she acts as a translator and then also the love interest for him. Because she’s white, so what’s not to love. Even though she looks like she was electrocuted.
Graham Greene plays Kicking Bird, the tribe’s holy man, who befriends Dunbar and is also the adopted father of Stands With A Fist (even though in real life she’s older than him). He’s depicted as nice, but also incredibly simple. Just like all the Lakota in this. And all the American soldiers for that matter.
Join us as we tear apart the historical inaccuracies in the film, marvel at its goofiness, and also talk about how one of the actors in this murdered his wife in real life later.
ALSO: Here's the NYT article Keating mentions at the end about Costner being hated by the Lakota.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Jizz to Say I'm Sorry.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.