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Film Snuff

Tearing apart your favorite movies.
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Now displaying: March, 2017
Mar 28, 2017

Tim Burton's 2003 fantasy drama, "Big Fish," took an interesting novel, shredded it into a bunch of disjointed pieces and removed all its compelling aspects. The story of a son working to overcome the deep-rooted distance between himself and his terminally ill father is drowned out completely by naked werewolves, guys dying while jerking off on the toilet and weird sex cult towns.

Ewan McGregor plays young Edward Bloom, an ambitious Alabamian anecdotalist who goes on one adventure after another. The audience is supposed to think young Edward is such a good dude as he alienates his son, delivers a simple-minded "friend" with gigantism to a flimflam circus man to be exploited as part of a "freak show," steals a guy's fiancé, and carries on an emotional affair.

Albert Finney plays old Edward Bloom, the most boisterous stage 4 cancer patient you've ever seen. He spends his declining years recounting braggadocious stories all about his wild and heroic exploits.

Billy Crudup turns in the worst performance of his career as Will Bloom, a petulant young man who can't let go of his resentment for his dying dad even though the movie gives him no reason to feel bitter in the first place.

Jessica Lange plays Sandra Bloom, a Manic Pixie Dream Wife whose purposes in life are to fawn over her husband, Edward, and to serve as his trophy.

Also, fair warning, Keating sings Toad the Wet Sprocket's "All I Want."

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Ignorance Stone.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Mar 21, 2017

In space, life is impossible. But if only Alfonso Cuarón filmed his overrated and meaningless turd from 2013, “Gravity,” in the vacuum of space, we wouldn’t have had to sit through this 91-minute chore that somehow felt like three hours.

This movie was indiscriminately lauded by critics, received 10 Oscar nominations—winning seven, and has been labeled "a masterpiece" by many. We don’t buy it.

Sandra Bullock and George Clooney star as stranded astronauts trying to survive after a Sharknado of space junk knocks them around and cuts their communication ties with NASA, and evidently destroys half of North America’s access to Facebook.

We discuss this movie’s lack of story and shoe-horned-in harrowing backstories in this nonstop anxiety porn that people seem to give a pass to because it looks pretty in 3-D.

We are baffled by George Clooney’s characters’ weird story about a transvestite, the conversation Sandy Bullock’s character has with an Inuit fisherman, and why the Chinese apparently are able to play ping pong on space stations.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Histrionic Media.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Mar 14, 2017

Once upon a time (in 1990) there was a movie named "Ghost" that haunted box offices across the world until it made more than $500 million. "Ghost" scared its audiences with terrifyingly bad performances, frighteningly cheesy love scenes and startlingly phony special effects. Its success opened wide the gates of chick flick hell.

Patrick Swayze plays Sam Wheat, a Wall Street banker with breathtakingly '80s hair and a penchant for saying, "Ditto." After dying 20 minutes into the film, Sam's ghost obsessively stalks his girlfriend, steals $4 million and kills two dudes.

Whoopi Goldberg plays Oda Mae Brown, a prime example of the Magical Negro movie character cliché who helps Sam's ghost communicate with his girlfriend, awkwardly fondle her and foil a sinister plot. Whoopi's supposed "acting" won her the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress.

Demi Moore plays Molly Jensen, Sam's lousy artist-of-a-girlfriend who just moved in with him. Her hobbies include pottery, home decorating and crying a lot. Molly is an extremely weak person who tends to fully believe whatever the person she talked to last has said.

Join us as we bravely venture into the spooky depths of this monumental fiasco. What we discover may make your blood run cold.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Rent-A-Fact.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Mar 7, 2017

The 2015 Judd Apatow/Amy Schumer joint, "Trainwreck," has been heralded as some sort of groundbreaking feminist triumph, but it's about as feminist as your creepy drunken uncle Lou. It's really just a disjointed hodgepodge of Amy's standup bits and sketch ideas with a romantic comedy shoehorned in.

Amy Schumer plays Amy (because, apparently, this is a '90s sitcom), a rough-talking tough New York girl who has given up on the idea of finding love and has instead settled for a series of one-night stands. Her hobbies include racism, picking on children and using her father's MS to manipulate people into thinking she's some sort of hero.

Bill Hader plays Dr. Aaron Conners, a cliche perfect guy with zero flaws who inexplicably instantaneously falls in love with this monster.

LeBron James plays a fictionalized version of himself. How do we know that? Because Bill Hader is the only member of his "posse." He's a Sunglass Hut-wearin', "Downton Abbey"-lovin', romance advice-givin' NBA superstar with nothing but time on his hands.

Tune in to find out Keating and Jim's favorite versions of Johnny Depp, to learn about about the rapid rise of STD rates amongst the elderly and to hear all about the statues created depicting Jim's dad's penis.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by CRAM Trucks.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

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