The all-the-sudden relevant movie from 1995,” Outbreak,” about a global pandemic and how to stop it, misses the chance to be interesting by squandering its all-star cast in exchange for mindless explosions, helicopter chases and a cheesy love story.
Always-angry Dustin Hoffman plays a military doctor who looks like he’s wearing his daddy’s fatigues on Halloween. He seems more concerned about getting his ex-wife (Rene Russo) back than he is about saving the world.
Silky-voiced Morgan Freeman and Donald Sutherland play friendly-evil and unfriendly-evil military higher-ups who are trying to conceal the outbreak because it was caused by a biological weapon they were hoping to later develop (or something).
Cuba Gooding Jr. plays a dude who can apparently do anything (like create vaccines instantly, fly helicopters like an ace, and even be a marksman with a tranquilizer gun). Well, everything except not vomiting at the sight of illness. Ya know, as all doctors do.
We also get Marcel the monkey from “Friends,” who plays an on-the-loose, virus-ridden capuchin that people are immediately attracted to without realizing how insanely destructive she is. Like Amber Heard.
The only good thing about this movie is we do get to watch Kevin Spacey slowly die a horrible death. So that’s somethin’.
Join us as we do bad Morgan Freeman impressions and wonder about Dustin Hoffman’s manhood.
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This episode is sponsored by Ass Swipe.
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