Happy New Year! We'll be back next week with new episodes.
It's 2019 now. The future. Makes the 2015 from "Back to the Future Part II" seem like a million years ago. But now we're in the year of "Blade Runner." And they really nailed that. No better way to describe Los Angeles 2019 than a bunch of sushi-eating robots.
Jim's still on his paternity leave of sorts as we've been taking some time off for the holidays, but in the meantime, enjoy our repost of one of our favorite episodes, "When Harry Met Sally..."
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ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES:
We will not have what she's having! The 1989 Rob Reiner-directed and Nora Ephron-written vehicle "When Harry Met Sally..." ushered in Meg Ryan as a leading lady and has been a pox on all of our houses ever since. We know that this movie is fiction because it pretends 41-year-old Billy Crystal is a twenty-something Lothario who has slept with so many women that he may need to leave New York City.
Billy Crystal plays Harry Burns, a supposed political consultant, and Meg Ryan plays Sally Albright, a supposed hard-hitting journalist, even though we never see either of them do a lick of work. But they must be successful because they are both insanely rich with their gigantic Manhattan high-rise apartments. The story follows these two unlikable characters over 12 years, even though they only really know each other for the last year and a half. So, why 12 years?
The cast also features the late Carrie Fisher and the late Bruno Kirby as Harry and Sally's friends who are equally despicable New Yorkers.
This movie has it all—fake female orgasms, old-people-in-love testimonials, wagon wheel coffee tables, power walking and even former President Gerald Ford's son.
Join us as we do impressions of hack comedians from the '80s, discuss whether or not men and women can be friends and wonder whatever happened to The Sharper Image.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Hey, guys, we're still hoping to get a Christmas episode done, but this past week hit a little snag. A good little snag. Jim's wife just gave birth to their second child, so needless to say, he's been a little busy this week. And this time she didn't go into labor while we were recording, so that's good. See our "Jerry Maguire" episode for when that happened.
And more good news: Keating is still childless.
Anyway, in the meantime, we decided to repost our "Home Alone 2" episode on our feed, so go enjoy (or re-enjoy) that one. Or hate it (or re-hate it)—whichever you choose.
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ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES:
Merry Christmas, you nosy little perverts! 'Tis the season to steal your parents' credit card, check into the Plaza Hotel and befriend a spooky Central Park pigeon lady with a secret lair inside Carnegie Hall. That's right—it's time to dissect everyone's favorite childhood sequel, "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York."
Macaulay Culkin reprises his role as Kevin McCallister, a sociopathic sadist who justifies his brutal torture of two hapless petty criminals under the guise of preventing a Christmas Eve burglary of a toy store that plans to donate its proceeds to a children's hospital. Somebody needs to teach this kid that vigilante justice is illegal and that insurance surely would have reimbursed the toy store owner for his loses.
Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are back as Harry and Marv, a duo of bumbling burglars who have escaped prison only to immediately run into the boy who put them there. In this film, they really take a licking, but they keep on sticking.
President Donald Trump also makes an appearance in the film as himself, a weird-coiffed, megalomaniacal douche-nozzle with small hands and an alleged micropenis.
Join us as we discuss our hatred of pigeons, the awfulness of the Talkboy, and the exact severity of Harry and Marv's injuries.
Links:
Talkboy commercial we mentioned in the episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anjyiO754hU
Also, the Talkboy commercial spoof we mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9wgzUSsE_Y
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Continuing our discussion and dismantling of the epic classic film from 1939, "Gone with the Wind," we break down everything that happens in the nutty second half of this movie (after the intermission). Scarlett O'Hara gets married two more times to people she doesn't love, and Rhett Butler continues to play his mind games with her.
Join us as we discuss the evil things Rhett does to Scarlett, we learn how Keating doesn't fully understand what breastfeeding is, and as we (for some reason) compare the characters in this movie to their "Family Matters" counterparts.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by OscarBot.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
In our 100th episode, we cover the first half of the epic classic 1939 film "Gone with the Wind" that tells a story of Southern belle Scarlett O'Hara who begins her life as a bratty rich girl on her idyllic plantation, and then loses everything when the Civil War strikes. Then she lies, cheats, murders and marries her way into being rich during Reconstruction, like some kind of airheaded Daniel Plainview.
Marred by a tumultuous production due to its maniac producer David O. Selznick, this almost four-hour flick went on to win 8 Oscars, including Best Picture, and is the highest-grossing film of all time (adjusted for inflation) with more than 200 million tickets sold.
Vivien Leigh plays Scarlett O'Hara, a woman who is secretly in love with a married man named Ashley, and won't let that go. When her family loses all their money, she turns extra evil and does whatever it takes to get rich again, even if that means lying, cheating, killing and entering into three loveless marriages.
Clark Gable plays Rhett Butler, a pencil-thin-mustachioed scalawag scoundrel who spends half the movie negging Scarlett into submission. Then, despite the fact that she openly articulates her love for another man, he gets her to marry him as a business decision and he proceeds to intermittently fly into fits of rage over her not loving him. Oh, and he also rapes her and habitually walks out on her. He's a real gem.
Hattie McDaniel plays Mammy, Scarlett's long-time slave nanny, who is used as comic relief in this movie by muttering "white trash" under her breath the whole time. McDaniel became the first African-American actor to be nominated for and win an Oscar, so at least that's something.
Olivia de Havilland (who is still alive at 102 years old) plays Melanie, a kind and oblivious woman who marries her cousin, has an incest baby and doesn't seem to notice that her sister-in-law and best friend secretly wants her husband.
Join us as we discuss how the Scarlett O'Hara character doesn’t change and she is an awful person, decide that the slimy Rhett Butler would make a good used carriage salesman, and discuss this movie's crazy production and its novel.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Less Fear Tactical Gear.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Nancy Meyers' most recently helmed vehicle, 2015's "The Intern" once again shows that she is out of touch with society and unable to make a movie that doesn't pander to the lowest common denominator. This cliche fish-out-of water story is just the same lame joke flopping around repeatedly wishing it could swim.
And although this movie is set in modern-day Brooklyn, it pretends like the idea of an Internet company that sells clothes is something new, and it populates its cast of only white characters with people who have incredibly backward ideas about working women and men staying home to raise the kids.
Anne Hathaway plays Jules Ostin, the ultra-hands-on founder and CEO of a fast-growing fashion startup called About the Fit. She is overworked and struggling with deciding whether to hire a CEO to replace her so she can keep her stay-at-home dad of a husband happy. The idea of delegating tasks and hiring a nanny never occurred to these billionaires.
Robert De Niro plays Ben Whittaker, a 70-year-old widower who starts to work as an intern at Hathaway's startup company. He is a two-dimensional, sickly sweet character who we feel is actually a weasel in sheep's clothing, because he takes every opportunity to brown-nose Hathaway in order to move up in the company and into her life.
Rene Russo plays the company's in-house massage therapist, but she seems more like an in-house prostitute with the overly-sexualized massages she is constantly giving De Niro, who she of course fall in love with, because they're both not young and near each other.
Andrew Rannells plays Hathaway's right-hand man at the company who appears to actually call all the shots weirdly, because he secretly has meetings with the board without Hathaway being there and is the one who forces her to take on an intern to shadow her. But really Nancy Meyers just wanted her main character to have a gay best friend underling, so it doesn’t matter that his job makes no sense.
And two-thirds of the "Workaholics" main cast are also in this movie—Adam DeVine as a sexually-harassing co-worker of De Niro's, and Anders Holm as Hathaway's unhappy and unfaithful stay-at-home dad husband. Poor Blake.
Join us as we dive into Nancy Meyers' bizarre psyche once again, wonder why she equates carrying a handkerchief with being a "real man," and if she actually is the feminist she so claims to be.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Dr. SAD's earplugs.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
In 2000, Disney released "Remember the Titans," a true story about a newly racially-integrated Virginia high school football team that in 1971 went 13-0, and in the process dissolved racial tensions in the community. Great story, but too bad it's not true.
Denzel Washington plays the team's coach Herman Boone, who is brought in to be the new coach, replacing the popular and successful white coach.
This movie also features some of the first roles of Ryan Gosling and Hayden Panettiere.
Join us as we break down how exactly inaccurate this insanely cheesy "true story" actually is.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Crystal Clear Chandeliers.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Today we open our mailbag and answer questions on subjects like: what movies do we disagree on, what movies are we looking forward to doing on the show most, and whether or not our ads are real. We also recount a story about Keating fixing a beauty contest, discuss how he has a knack for making people flip out on him, and read a listener's anecdote about how Film Snuff helps her tolerate spending time with her dad.
If you have a question, comment or fun story that you'd like to hear on a future Mailbag episode, talk with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or write us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Happy Halloween! In 1978, John Carpenter made a film where a guy slowly strolls around a town killing babysitters for no reason, but apparently it is a deep social commentary—but if you really think about it, it isn't. It's just a movie about a guy slowly strolling around a town killing babysitters. For no reason.
Activia spokesperson Jamie Lee Curtis stars as Laurie Strode, a smokin' hot high school nerd who boys don't like because she's "too smart," yet not smart enough to realize that a guy who is clearly stalking her is on a murderous rampage and happens to be invincible.
Donald Pleasence plays Dr. Sam Loomis, a psychiatrist who somehow knows that his patient who hasn't said or done anything wrong in his 15 years of imprisonment is pure evil and bound to go on a killing spree in his hometown. It turns out he's right, but how would he know all this?
Join us as we remise about classic '70s cars, make fun of pretentious horror film nerds, and wonder why this empty, boring movie is considered such a classic.
Also, here's that weird last bit of dialogue we discussed.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by The Jeff Bezos Relief Fund.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
In this installment of our periodical "In Theaters" segment, we give you our immediate reaction to seeing a new movie on the big screen. This time, we discuss a movie where Disney dreamboat Ryan Gosling plays Neil Armstrong, "First Man." Will we think it's out of this world, or will we think it's as vacuous as space? Listen to find out.
**NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS**
Quick Facts
Release date: October 12, 2018
Runtime: 2 hours, 21 minutes
Starring: Ryan Gosling, Claire Foy, Jason Clarke, Kyle Chandler, Corey Stoll, Patrick Fugit, Christopher Abbot, Ciarán Hinds, Olivia Hamilton, Pablo Schreiber, Shea Whigham, Lukas Haas, Ethan Embry
Directed by: Damien Chazelle
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
A woman dumps her boyfriend because she's about to go to Harvard Law School and doesn't want his childish antics holding her back. Then this jilted lover devises an elaborate scheme to enroll in her school specifically to stalk her and systematically destroy her life.
Sound like a horror story? Well, if you switch out the gender of the psycho stalker and add some fun music, then you've got yourself the movie, "Legally Blonde."
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Dumb Products Incorporated.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Dear Blue,
I'm just like you. I'm a multimillionaire cool guy stud-muffin, with two still-married, supportive supermodel parents who are extremely liberal and accepting of gay people. I just don’t know how I’m ever going to come out. There are too many road blocks in front of me.
Also, all my friends are totally fine with people being gay, but I still don’t think it's going to be okay. Also, Blue, I have thought you were approximately 10 different guys in my high school and I fell in love with each of them instantly, because apparently all it takes for a gay person to fall in love is meeting another gay person, unless their name is Ethan—then, ew, gross.
Love, Jaques (I’m writing this in 2018, not 1918, believe it or not)
P.S. I'm currently being blackmailed for no reason, but when my friends eventually find out, they will they will not take this into consideration.
P.P.S. Also, I’m going to force you to come out publicly in front of the whole school or else you don't love me and therefore are also intolerant, so you better get on that Ferris wheel—or else.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by the International Sweatshop Association.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Steven Spielberg's blockbuster "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial" has been a part of the world's consciousness since it debuted in 1982, but when you take off those nostalgia goggles and look at it with fresh eyes, you'll realize it's nothing more than a story about a boy and his dog, a horror movie aimed at kids, and, strangely, a story with strong Jesus Christ parallels.
This movie gave us many things: Reese's Pieces (one of the dozens of product placements in this), Drew Barrymore, the Amblin logo, and, of course, "Mac and Me."
Henry Thomas plays the main character, a child named Elliott, who creepily gets taken over by an alien botanist who was left behind on Earth by his species. Elliott enjoys not dissecting frogs, screaming, and being mentally brainwashed by a beer-drinking, Speak-&-Spell-ing, wax-candy-eating monster.
Dee Wallace plays Elliott's frazzled single mother, who is falling apart because her husband recently left her and then took off to Mexico with some woman. Her likes include: barely miss seeing E.T. at every step, dressing up as a sexy cat, and leaving children unattended. Her dislikes include: Mexico, pizza, and kids showing up minutes late of their vague curfews.
Robert MacNaughton plays Elliot's older brother, Michael, who looks like a mix of Charlie Bucket, Eddie Haskell and Steve Buscemi. He helps Elliott hide E.T. and heroically aides in his ultimate survival and homecoming. Michael loves Dungeons & Dragons, Space Invaders, yet also plays on the football team. A real Renaissance Man.
Drew Barrymore plays Elliott's little sister, Gertie, who says cute things, teaches E.T. to talk, and agrees to allow E.T. to take her place while they pretend to go trick-or-treating.
And Peter Coyote plays an unnamed (and mostly unseen) government official who is hunting E.T. and has a bunch of keys attached to his belt.
Join us as we dive deep into all the product placement in this movie, discuss Spielberg's daddy issues and really dissect this whole "E.T. is Jesus" thing.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by InMate.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Hey, guys. Jim is feeling a little under the weather, so we decided to wait on recording "E.T." for now and re-air a classic episode, one of our favorites. See you next week!
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ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES:
G'day, mates! The 1986 Aussie-American comedy "Crocodile Dundee" takes us deep into the Outback on a harrowin’ journey with poisonous snakes, gun-totin’ roos and giant rubber crocs. It also takes us to New York City where the hero of the story goes around Manhattan while casually assaulting newspaper editors, pimps, cross-dressers and small-knife-wielding, would-be muggers.
Paul Hogan plays Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee, a possibly magical, fun-lovin’ big-knife-wielding bloke who enjoys knocking unsuspecting people unconscious, shooting at drunken idiots and poaching protected wildlife. He's perfectly content walking about the world by himself until he meets a "sheila" with a nice arse and is quickly swept away.
Linda Kozlowski plays Sue Charlton, a plucky young reporter who enjoys cheating on her boyfriend and jet setting around the world to write trivial articles while exclusively staying in extravagant 5-star hotels because her daddy owns the newspaper she works for.
Reginald VelJohnson (Carl Winslow from "Family Matters") plays Gus, the newspaper's apparent full-time kindly limo driver who loves to drink on the job and throw makeshift boomerangs at pimps.
Join us as we recount a time we almost got charged by an angry bull, as we wonder why Americans were so obsessed with Australia in the 1980s, and as we try to come up with interesting slogans for cocaine.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
The 1995 smash hit "While You Were Sleeping" is about a mentally deranged woman who infiltrates the family of a man who was violently attacked and falls into a coma by claiming that she is his fiancée. She deceives his family into welcoming her as one of their own and she even manages to manipulate the coma patient’s godfather into conspiring with her. Last but not least, she seduces the coma victim’s unsuccessful but kinda charming brother which could potentially destroy this happy family she so covets.
Sandra Bullock plays Lucy Eleanor Moderatz, a sad Chicago Transit Authority worker whose only meaningful relationship was with her recently deceased father. She fantasizes about trading in her cat lady existence for becoming the wife of a rich handsome lawyer who she doesn't even know. The only problem with her dream is that it has no basis in reality and the only she can achieve it is through disgusting treachery.
Bill Pullman plays Jack Callaghan, a spineless ne'er-do-well who specializes in conning recently bereaved families into selling their furniture for for a fraction of its worth, but he aspires to make furniture rather than harvesting it from the dead, so that makes him a nice dude or something. He also drops everything when he meets his brother’s fiancée and focuses all of his efforts on stealing her.
Peter Gallagher plays Peter Callaghan, a one testicled slimy narcissistic lawyer with glamour shots of himself displayed all over his apartment and even a few in his wallet. He is also quasi-engaged to an evil-seeming married woman.
Peter Boyle plays Ox Callaghan, the patriarch of this family of ghouls who delights in profiting from the personal tragedy of others. He’s kinda the same character he played in "Everybody Loves Raymond," but he loves to dance on people's graves.
Jack Warden plays Saul Tuttle, an old jokester who was adopted by the Callaghan family after he lost his wife and was named the godfather of their eldest son. He repays the favor by betraying them and using Yiddish to criticize them.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Zip Code or Bust.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
In this installment of our periodical "In Theaters" segment, we give you our immediate reaction to seeing a new movie on the big screen. This time, we discuss a movie that has been dominating the box office for the last three weeks and shows no signs of letting up, "Crazy Rich Asians."
**NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS**
Quick Facts
Release date: August 15, 2018
Runtime: 2 hours
Starring: Constance Wu, Henry Golding, Michelle Yeoh, Gemma Chan, Lisa Lu, Awkwafina, Harry Shum Jr., Ken Jeong, Sonoya Mizuno, Chris Pang, Jimmy O. Yang, Ronny Chieng, Remy Hii, Nico Santos
Directed by: Jon M. Chu
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
In 1999, famed director of "Jurassic Park III," Joe Johnston, outdid his previous attempts at making the perfect melodramatic cheesefest movie with "October Sky." The film is about teens with hardscrabble beginnings who launch a projectile as an attempt to escape their upbringings, but the insincerity of the performances made audiences want to projectile launch their lunches into jumbo-sized popcorn buckets.
Prior to learning how to act, Jake Gyllenhaal stars as Homer Hickam, a boy who immediately becomes obsessed with rocketry after witnessing Sputnik orbiting the Earth and begins a personal correspondence with a famous Nazi scientist, Wernher von Braun. Homer and the rag-tag group of misfits that he assembles go from accidentally blowing up a picket fences to winning the National Science Fair after a ton of montages that are meant to let us know how tenacious they were.
Chris "The Sherminator" Owen plays a nerdlinger dweebizoid named Quentin who is such a pariah at his high school that even the act of approaching him at lunchtime warrants an audible gasp from the entire rest of the student body. Quentin is the brains of the rocketry operation and indispensable to its success, but he somehow receives almost no credit because Homer was busy lapping it all up.
Laura Dern's portrayal of a passionate teacher named Miss Riley who is diagnosed with a terminal disease just as the students she inspired were about to realize their dreams was as thirsty for an Oscar nomination as humanly possible. They actually have her witness their last launch from her deathbed. This is what we are dealing with here.
Chris Cooper plays Homer's dad, and he's just doing his typical gruff dad role like in every movie he's in other than "Adaptation."
Join us as we discuss passive-aggressive painting, the differences between the memoir and the movie, and why The Sherminator should've won an Oscar for this movie.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by 23 and NOT Me.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
The 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger action-comedy smash hit and cultural sensation "Kindergarten Cop" reminds us that this kid's movie mainly loved by teenagers shouldn't be revisited by adults.
Its giant plot holes (larger than the holes Arnold's reckless cop character wouldn't mind leaving in any drug addict unwilling to get out of the way of his tricked-out shotgun) get force-filled with a huge helping of heart (as Arnold falls in love and misses his estranged son that we or he never see) and are about as big as Arnold's partner's hilariously large appetite (because she's small, get it?). The comedy menu we're given here basically largely consists of "mean man who hates everyone has to deal with children" and daily specials akin to the show "Kids Say the Darndest Things."
Seemingly weeks pass in this three-day plot because we get a lot of montages where Arnold marches these little kids like a drill sergeant in order to whip them into shape, and oddly, somehow this makes them love him instantly.
Arnold plays Detective John Kimble (a cop, you idiot!), who goes undercover (while weirdly using his real name) as a kindergarten teacher to find out who all the kids' daddies are and also learn what they do.
This is because a notorious drug dealer named Cullen Crisp (played by Richard Tyson) has recently learned the whereabouts of his ex-wife and child and plans to go find them when he gets out of jail.
Penelope Ann Miller plays both the on-the-run ex-wife of the bad guy and Arnold's love interest. She works at the school he's scoping out, because apparently small towns don't ask any questions or check references.
Arnold's food-loving partner is played by Pamela Reed. And that's her whole character: she's Arnold's partner and she loves food.
There's also a principal character played by Oscar-winner Linda Hunt who is suspicious of Arnold being a teacher and hopes he'll soon quit, even though she knows from the get-go that he's an undercover cop who will only be staying a few days.
Join us as we discuss how dumb the and dangerous the police heroes of this movie are, our thoughts on the honor bar in hotels and reminisce about those old Arnold soundboards people used for prank calls back in the day.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Bravo's "The Real Stay-at-Home Dads of Boise."
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
In 2000, Gus Van Sant released his second film about a sad older man who mentors a promising young genius only to regain his zest for life along the way, "Finding Forrester." They tried to rekindle the magic from "Good Will Hunting," but they instead ended up making a painfully uncomfortable white savior movie strung together with every cornball trope known to man.
Sean Connery plays William Forrester, a reclusive writer who authored a book that is now on the required reading list for every high schooler (aka a J.D. Salinger stand-in). Forrester has a habit of creepily monitoring the comings and goings of everyone in his neighborhood through binoculars and has the ability to read lips or something because he seems to know exactly what everyone is up to. His peeping eventually manages to rouse some local kids into breaking into his apartment to see what his deal is.
Rob Brown plays Jamal Wallace, a 16-year-old genius from the Bronx who started journaling regularly after his drug-addicted dad walked out on his family. Jamal excels at basketball, but he hides his intelligence and his ambitions to be writer from everyone in his life until he accidentally drops the backpack containing his journals while robbing the apartment of Connery's character, the local ghostly hermit.
F. Murray Abraham plays Professor Robert Crawford, a bitter teacher at a prestigious private school who has spent the past several decades talking down to his students and viciously punishing any dissenters. He is a crazy fanboy of Sean Connery's character and, unbeknownst to him, Connery went out his way to blackball him and prevent his book from being published which made him into the monster that he has become.
Join us as we cringe our way though Sean Connery trying to win an Oscar, debate whether or not Jamal is even good at basketball or writing and unleash some of the worst Sean Connery impressions every perpetrated on the general public.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by YouTwit.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
German filmmaker Roland Emmerich's second ultra-jingoistic movie about American independence, "The Patriot," plays a lot like an unofficial remake to Gibson's 1995 masterpiece "Braveheart," but without the whole being a good movie thing.
Mel Gibson plays a hatchet-wielding maniac named Benjamin Martin who uses the death of his son and the Revolutionary War as excuses to savagely butcher his victims without facing consequences. He also enters into a sexual relationship with his recently deceased wife's sister (played by Joely Richardson) who is willing to look the other way at his evil behavior.
Heath Ledger plays Mel Gibson’s oldest son who enlists in the Continental Army against his father's wishes. Then, when gets wounded in the line of duty, he takes refuge at his family's plantation, which ends up leading to the death of his 15-year-old brother who oddly still plays with toys.
Join us as we discuss why the movie insists that slavery barely existed in South Carolina back then, the transformation of racist Donal Logue and the decision to gather up the entire town of people that they made us care about and then burn them alive.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by the City of Austin's proposed name change.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
In this installment of our periodical "In Theaters" segment, we give you our immediate reaction to seeing a new movie on the big screen. This time, we travel back to Island Kalokairi to see what happened to our favorite love quadrangle in, "Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again."
**NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS**
Quick Facts
Release date: July 20, 2018
Runtime: 1 hour, 54 minutes
Starring: Lily James, Amanda Seyfried, Meryl Streep, Dominic Cooper, Pierce Brosnan, Stellan Skarsgård, Christine Baranski, Colin Firth, Cher, Julie Walters, Jeremy Irvine, Andy Garcia, Josh Dylan, Hugh Skinner, Jessica Keenan Wynn, Alexa Davies
Directed by: Ol Parker
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Does Your Mother Know you're listening? Well, we're glad that you decided to Take a Chance on us this episode, you little Chiquititas. We don't Lay All Our Love on the 2008 smash hit "Mamma Mia!" Audiences lost and studios won as this movie made $615.7 million at the box office, but, as they say, The Winner Takes It All and the loser has to fall.
A lot of people think this movie is Honey, Honey, but we think it's vinegar, vinegar.
We thought this might be Our Last Summer after watching this drivel, but we were Super Troupers and powered through it without letting a single scene Slip Through Our Fingers.
When All Is Said and Done, not even underrated Meryl Streep could keep us from thinking that this was the cinematic equivalent of Waterloo.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by The Poor Person's Almanack.
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Somehow the 1999 Julia Roberts-Hugh Grant flick "Notting Hill"—which is just the repeated gag of "Holy cow; she’s famous and talking to us!"—was extended into a 2-hour movie that made $364 million at the box office.
This movie also has side bits about how eccentric British people are in this quaint, and down-to-earth super affluent section of London that seems like it's millions of miles away from Hollywood, even though it’s not.
This movie was written by Richard Curtis, the man behind "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and "Love Actually," and it's difficult to differentiate the three, because he’s a hack who pumps out the same schmaltz at every turn.
Hugh Grant plays Will Thacker, a man whose entire personality consists of manufacturing excessive apologies into charm. He owns a failing travel bookstore, which he laments, even though he hates his inventory and all his customers, so what’s the mystery.
Julia Roberts plays a famous bad actress named Anna Scott (quite the stretch for her) who Hugh Grant falls in love with because she's famous. She's basically a robot in this movie who doesn't do much other than be captivated by this bumbling idiot.
Then there’s also a zany roommate, who's basically just a Welsh version of Kramer from "Seinfeld." Oh, and there are other characters who all just complain about their lives and are shown to be in awe of the sight of a famous person in their supposed distant squalor (even though, again, it's super rich London).
Join us as we rank the Baldwin brothers, whether or not the zany roommate is a figment of Hugh Grant's imagination and how this movie is so transparently trying to get credit for disabilities.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Chuck Lorre's new TV show, "Fart," which premieres Thursdays this fall on CBS.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Happy Independence Day 2018, everybody! We're taking the week off for the holiday, so we decided to re-air one of our favorite episodes that originally dropped July 4, 2017. We hope you have good time re-listening to it, and we'll be back in your ears next week with a brand-new episode.
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ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES:
If world events are making you feel less than celebratory, you can always take solace in the fact that there aren't currently any giant spaceships filled with genocidal aliens hovering over the world's major cities like in Roland Emmerich's 1996 megablockbuster, "Independence Day.”
Be warned that although "Independence Day" contains a large ensemble cast of mostly A-List actors, the unoriginal script and horrid directing produced some of the worst performances of their careers.
Jeff Goldblum plays David Levinson, a lowly, unambitious MIT-educated math genius, chess Grandmaster and cable television executive who can read binary and easily destroy an armada of alien ships with his 1995 Apple PowerBook 5300.
Will Smith plays Captain Steven Hiller, a gung-ho Marine who's in love with a stripper with a heart of gold and is capable of coldcocking an armor-clad alien with one punch. He can also inexplicably pilot any kind of vehicle, be it a helicopter or alien ship.
Bill Pullman plays President Thomas J. Whitmore, a former Desert Storm fighter pilot turned politician. Pullman’s Dirty Harryesque acting delivered the most hackneyed oration in the history of film, until it was overtaken by the 2009 release of James Cameron’s "Avatar."
Randy Quaid plays Russell Casse, a drunken Vietnam vet and father of three who reforms his ways just in time to sacrifice himself and save the world. The makers of this movie seem to believe that criminally irresponsible alcoholic parents are the height of comedy.
Judd Hirsch plays Julius Levinson, David’s Yiddish-accented father who serves as a chauffeur and hype man to his son throughout the film.
Brent Spiner plays Dr. Brackish Okun, an eccentric Area 51 scientist character. In reality, Spiner is just a pawn to get weirdo Trekkies like Jim to like the movie.
Gravelly-voiced Robert Loggia plays General William Grey, a tough old Marine who serves as the President's trusted military advisor throughout the film.
Famous crooner-turned-actor-turned-daytime talkshow host, Harry Connick Jr., plays Lieutenant Jimmy Wilder, a pilot in Will Smith's squadron who is fond of doing Jesse Jackson impressions and calling Will Smith "Big Daddy."
Harvey Fierstein has a brief cameo as Marty Gilbert, a co-worker of Jeff Goldblum who feels compelled to call his mother after learning of the alien arrival. Upon learning of the aliens' hostile intentions, he also decides to warn his brother and bookie, but decides to spitefully forego warning his lawyer.
Join us as we discuss our favorite Reddit news source, DonkeySemen69, and learn about Keating's love for watching horses get punched in the face.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
Weirdly, Mr. Spock himself Leonard Nimoy (not Dr. Spock) directed the highest-grossing film of 1987, "Three Men and a Baby." He might be famous for his ears, but he certainly doesn’t have an ear for comedy.
On top of being a one-note joke movie where a trio of rapscallion bachelors don't know how to look after a baby, it also involves a bizarre subplot about heroin dealers chasing after them.
Tom Selleck (of "Magnum, P.I." fame) and his mustache play architect Peter Mitchell, a man in a long-term open-relationship who weirdly lives with his two best buds in a high-rise New York City penthouse apartment, even though he's in his 40s and seems like he has $100 million in the bank.
Steve Guttenberg (of "Police Academy" fame) plays one those roommates, cartoonist Michael Kellam, who pens a famous comic strip about a racist cheetah with sunglasses named Johnny Cool.
Ted Danson (of "Cheers" fame) plays the other roommate, actor Jack Holden, who is the father of the baby left on their doorstep by an awful British woman he used to bang. And it makes sense that he's the father, considering he pulls in slightly more tail than his lothario besties.
Join us as we discuss mock Nancy Travis' awful acting, marvel at how this creepy sex romp and drug caper movie (that happens to have a baby in it) was somehow made by Disney, and as Keating scolds Jim for using the word "cute."
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Grammy's Sleepytime Formula.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.
According to The New Yorker, the acclaimed director and all-around stand-up guy Woody Allen's 2013 film "Blue Jasmine" is yet another masterpiece in a long line of them. According to us, it is boring masturbatory fantasy from an out of touch ghoul who, in an ideal world, would have been locked up in prison for the past several decades rather than pumping out an endless stream of bombastic nonsense.
Cate Blanchett won Best Actress for playing Jasmine Francis, a mentally damaged widow who we find out through a series of unnecessary flashbacks was married to a wealthy Madoff-inspired Ponzi scheme mastermind. Jasmine really doesn't have a character arc because she is clearly crazy to begin with, but fancy-pants critics would have you believe that the film depicts the subtle unraveling of a fragile soul with a cutting wit that's sharper than an 18th century French guillotine (or something similarly pretentious).
Sally Hawkins was nominated for Best Supporting Actress for playing Ginger, Jasmine's adopted sister who is based on the character Stella Kowalski from Tennessee Williams's play "A Streetcar Named Desire." She is recently divorced from a meathead named Augie, played by Andrew Dice Clay, and is dating a new meathead named Chili, played by Bobby Cannavale, but Jasmine's insistence that she can do better drives her into the arms of a third loser, played by Louis C.K. (speaking of mastabratory fantasies).
Alec Baldwin plays Hal Francis, a rich narcissist who, like Baldwin himself, seemingly sails through life doing and saying whatever he pleases. But the role does require some acting when Johnny Law finally catches up to him and he has to face the music for his lifetime of recklessness.
Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.
This episode is sponsored by Water Cool It.
Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.