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Film Snuff

Tearing apart your favorite movies.
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Now displaying: January, 2018
Jan 30, 2018

On this special episode of Film Snuff, we are guiding you through the recently announced Oscar nominations for movies released in 2017 while also giving you our take on them as well as our predictions.

We discuss the snubs, surprises and how Kobe Bryant was nominated for an Academy Award.

Follow along by visiting filmsnuff.com/2018oscarnoms, where we have provided a list of the nominations in the order we read them.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Jan 23, 2018

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. It's 2009 J.J. Abrams-led mission: to explore strange new ways to anger fans of the franchise, to seek out new life and new civilizations that will waste their money on total garbage, to boldly go where no man has gone before or ever wants to go again.

Chris Pine plays James T. Kirk, a slimy tool bag whose life trajectory gets wildly altered when a time-traveling genocidal maniac appears out of nowhere and forces his dad into becoming a kamikaze. However, none of this ends up mattering because fate (and bad writing) leads him back to the same place he would have been all along with all of the same people around him.

Zachary Quinto plays twenty-something Spock, an emotionally repressed half-human, half-Vulcan first officer with serious mommy issues. This guy is supposed to be all calm and logical, but he's about as prone to violent outbursts as Alec Baldwin.

Eric Bana plays Nero, an interstellar space miner with Mike Tysonesque facial tattoos who loses his wife when a star explodes and destroys his home planet. Then, for no reason, he becomes hellbent on revenge against Spock, who was trying to save his home planet, and he ends up traveling back in time and decimating Spock’s homeworld.

Leonard Nimoy plays old Spock from an alternative timeline, a Vulcan ambassador who doesn’t appear to be very good at diplomacy, because his actions lead to an interstellar incident that claims the lives of billions.

Zoë Saldana plays Uhura, a beautiful communications officer who Kirk is obsessed with, but she ends up with Spock because no bad movie is complete without a love triangle.

Karl Urban plays Bones, a physician and bitter divorcee who joins Star Fleet because he can't stand to even be on the same planet as his ex-wife.

Simon Pegg plays Scotty, a bumbling engineer who always manages to narrowly get the crew out of jams through sheer dumb luck.

John Cho plays Sulu, a katana brandishing helmsman who slices and dices his enemies faster than a Veg-O-Matic.

Join us as we discuss James T. Kirk's creepiness in this, our desire to have Tyler Perry as Madea rather than just playing it straight here, and the likelihood of whether Jane Goodall banged any of her beloved chimps. 

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by the Dream Dodger. 

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Jan 16, 2018

One of the most overrated Best Picture winners ever, 1998's "Shakespeare in Love," about a cool-guy William Shakespeare going around plague-ridden 1593 London, tries to pretend this is about a character trying to find love, when any viewer can see he's merely a creepy con artist who's just trying to bang everything that moves.

Joseph Fiennes plays William "Will" Shakespeare as the title character who says he's trying to find his muse, but he's just trying to get laid.

Gwyneth Paltrow plays Shakespeare's "love" (but really just lust) interest who is about to be sold to Colin Firth's character by her parents, but really wants to be an actor, so she dresses up as a man to fool everyone. How she is supposed to be convincing as a man just because she has a mustache on is beyond us. 

The cast also includes Geoffrey Rush, Tom Wilkinson, Dame Judi Dench (who are fine), and Ben Affleck (who is painful, as always).

Join us as we discuss how this movie won Harvey Weinstein his only Oscar, how Dame Judi Dench got a strange tattoo because of this movie, and what a bunch of phooey Gwyneth Paltrow's website Goop is.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by the Society for the Protection of Names. 

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Jan 9, 2018

In 1991, cool brah James Cameron and tubular dudette Kathryn Bigelow pulled down their pants and mooned the world when they created the beloved action movie "Point Break," which showed us all that some bank robbers aren't just criminals, but can also be one-with-nature radical surfers who love to skydive. 

Patrick Swayze plays Bodhi, the philosophical leader of the gang of surfing bank robbers who call themselves The Ex-Presidents. He and his floppy sun-bleached hair don't want to allow society to dictate how they live their lives, so he prefers to rob banks to stick it to the man (aka, so he can just party all the time).

Keanu Reeves plays the absurdly-named Johnny Utah, an Ohio-bred, former college star quarterback who has now become an FBI agent, and has been tapped to go undercover as a surfer to infiltrate the suspects. At first Bodhi and his gang don't trust him—because, as we all know, Keanu seems nothing like a surfer—but once they learn he used to be a football star, they immediately accept him into their circle, no questions asked. 

Gary Busey plays Keanu's grizzled, older partner who came up with the zany theory that the bank robbers might be surfer dudes. Busey is shockingly normal in this role, even though it was after his brain injury, so it's, well, confusing. 

And Lori Petty plays Tyler, an orphaned surfer who is Swayze's ex-girlfriend and becomes Keanu's love interest. She enjoys shooting guns just inches away from people's heads when she finds out they lied to her, and that's about it. 

Join us as we jump out of a plane without a parachute, discuss how this movie was remade twice (one was titled "The Fast and the Furious"), and wonder whether or not Tim Tebow is currently an FBI informant. 

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Hipsteropoly. 

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Jan 2, 2018

Strap on your helmets (and your garbage bags) for a review of Zach Braff's zany but somber-seeming directorial debut, "Garden State." It's got everything you could ever want in a movie: paraplegics drowning in bathtubs, humping dogs, diplomas on ceilings and Sheldon from "The Big Bang Theory."

Zach Braff plays Andrew "Large" Largeman, a twenty-something struggling actor who has been rendered emotionless after a lifetime of taking psychiatric medications following an incident where he shoved his mother and inadvertently paralyzed her from the waist down (that old chestnut). Large must return home for the first time in a decade when he finds out that his mom died. Once home, he goes cold turkey off his meds and starts staring into the infinite abyss known as life or something.

Natalie Portman plays Samantha, a hamster-murdering former figure skater who claims to have epilepsy, but it's unclear if anything we learn about her is remotely true given that she's a pathological liar. Also, all of her physical and emotional problems seem to magically disappear as soon she falls in love with Zach Braff's equally damaged character.

Peter Sarsgaard plays Mark, a pathetic gravedigger who still acts like he's in high school and lives at home with his mommy (played by Jean Smart). After Mark robs Large's mother's grave, we're supposed to forgive him because he takes us on a bizarre scavenger hunt involving shoplifting, visiting a hooker lair and bartering with some creepy weirdo who collects dead people's jewelry.

Ian Holm (a.k.a. Bilbo Baggins) plays Dr. Gideon Largeman, Andrew's cold and creepy psychiatrist father who has no professional ethics and has been writing all sorts of prescriptions for his son for the past decade despite the fact that they have little to no contact.

Join us as we discuss our difficulties at the gas pump, wonder if this movie's anti-pharmaceutical message is connected to Scientology and go back in time to prevent Keating's younger self from ever liking this movie.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Turbo Extreme Titanium Gym. 

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

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