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Film Snuff

Tearing apart your favorite movies.
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Now displaying: 2016
Dec 27, 2016

How on earth (or any other planet) was James Cameron's 2009 film "Avatar" nominated for 9 Oscars and how is it currently the highest-grossing movie of all time? This movie doesn't brand itself as an animated film, even though it is, and somehow it won the Oscar for Best Cinematography. Weird. And, as everyone knows, this movie is a huge ripoff of tons of other stuff. It's amazing how many we were able to come up with.

Sam Worthington plays Jake Sully, a Marine whose mission is to infiltrate the natives to help destroy them, but he joins them instead. Sounds familiar. Zoë Saldana plays Neytiri, a strong independent blue woman in line to lead her clan. Sigourney Weaver plays Grace Augustine, a brash no-nonsense scientist who smokes cigarettes 150 years from now. Michelle Rodriquez plays, well, herself, basically.

We didn't think it was possible for a movie to get us to say the words "horse" and "rape" more than the movie "Casablanca" did, but we were wrong.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Read No Evil.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Dec 20, 2016

Two violent criminals invade a house in which an 8-year-old child has been abandoned while his family goes on vacation to Paris. The 1990 classic film, "Home Alone," shows us that child endangerment is more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

Macaulay Culkin plays Kevin McCallister, a psychopathic sadist whose hobbies include severely burning people, inflicting massive head trauma, and puncturing his victims' flesh with sharp objects. While Kevin's actions may have technically been justified by self-defense, this kid will surely grow up to be a prolific serial killer.

Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern play Harry and Marv, two blundering criminals whose ambitions quickly escalate from theft to home invasion after getting scammed by a kindergartener. Spoiler alert: The hilarious conclusion to this family film is Harry attempting to bite off Kevin's fingers one-by-one right before having his head bashed in by a shovel.

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Rob Steele & Associates.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Dec 13, 2016

A mentally ill author, a spunky waitress, and a gay painter show us that all you need to do in life to find true happiness is settle for less in the 1997 Best Picture nominee "As Good as It Gets."

Jack Nicholson plays Melvin Udall, a reclusive obsessive-compulsive who keeps people away with his bristly attitude, but underneath that rough exterior is a manipulative old lecher who wants to get laid. He actually won an Oscar for this.

Helen Hunt plays Carol Connelly, a plucky waitress with a sick son who is desperate to find a man. She says some stale lines, gets upset several times, and shows a little butt crack, so it's supposed to be a magnificent performance.

Greg Kinnear plays Simon Bishop, an artist who is robbed and beaten so badly that he goes broke from the hospital bills. Simon is forced to go on a zany road trip to ask his parents for help. We're supposed to believe that this seemingly awful situation changes Simon's life for the better somehow, even though he is now deformed, handicapped, and roommates with a madman.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Mary-Kate Jefferson.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Dec 6, 2016

Real-life professional American football player (and actual human being, mind you) Michael Oher, who is the subject of the 2009 Oscar-nominated sappy box office smash hit “The Blind Side,” isn’t the biggest fan of how he was depicted in this movie — and we can’t blame him.

It depicts him as a dopey vagrant who can barely fend for himself and who has absolutely no understanding of the game of football, until, one day, a white family (mainly Sandra Bullock, who won an Oscar for Best Actress for this somehow) saves him and teaches him how to be great at the game — single-handedly paving his way to Ole Miss and then the NFL.

In reality, Michael Oher had been playing football all his life, was already a star athlete at the rich white school where Sandra Bullock’s character’s family met him, and achieved his goals all on his own.

But, hey, when has Hollywood ever let the truth get in the way of a good story? Well, actually, that’s a stretch, because this movie’s story is equally as awful as its bastardization of what actually happened.

Join us as we tear apart this insanely racist, cheesy and manipulative mess that isn’t even good enough for the likes of Lifetime.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by HytchHyke.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Nov 29, 2016

Dear Mr. Vernon,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice 97 minutes to watch this movie. But we think you're crazy to consider this an acceptable piece of art. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.

Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, and Emilio Estevez play the same characters they always play because they have little-to-no acting talent.

We discuss how John Hughes is responsible for an entire generation of horrible pop culture, we wonder why people love John Bender so much, and that every adult that still likes this movie is nothing more than a defective neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by The Anti-Anti-Bullying Campaign.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Nov 22, 2016

We all know the awful sound of connecting to dial-up. But can you imagine a whole movie as painful as that? Yeah? Then join us as we tear apart the sickly-sweet 1998 romantic comedy about two people conducting emotional affairs: "You've Got Mail." This box office blockbuster pulled in a quarter of a billion dollars by making infidelity look like a fun walk through Central Park in the fall.

Tom Hanks plays "NY152," a successful executive for a chain of mega-bookstores who has everything—except the most important thing of all: true love. Meg Ryan plays "Shopgirl," a perky pixie of a woman who runs a small bookstore, yet secretly wonders if she hasn't dared to dream big enough.

Hang out with us as we discuss the magic of having a pen pal, if the patent for sharpened dildos is still available, our loving homage to the memory of Nora Ephron, and the cathartic joys of burning down orphanages.

Yes, you read that correctly. Don't worry; it's a good time.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by StayDaddy.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Nov 15, 2016

This week we have a Bogie in our sights as we tear apart one of the most acclaimed movies in Hollywood history, "Casablanca." This 1942 film noir "masterpiece" tends to stirrup the emotions in critics, but we feel that it's time to put it out to pasture.

Humphrey Bogart plays Rick Blaine, a broken-hearted nightclub owner who has given up on the world after being jilted by a woman he only knew for a week. Ingrid Bergman plays Ilsa, the prodigal lover who now needs Rick to help her husband escape Nazi peril.

We wonder why this movie thinks it's totally fine to have one of its hero characters, Captain Renault, extort sex from fleeing refugees. We also question how fugitives on the run have such extensive wardrobes and we opine on the equine countenance of the film's star.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by FoBewTay.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Nov 8, 2016

With today being Election Day, we considered covering a movie about the Apocalypse, but instead decided to tear apart a movie about a U.S. president. So we went with the 1995 so-called romantic comedy "The American President." It's the movie responsible for subjecting the world to seven seasons of "The West Wing."

Michael Douglas plays Andrew Shepherd, a widower president who instantly falls in love with an environmental lobbyist, Sydney Ellen Wade (Annette Bening) as his re-election is creeping up. And he has to decide whether the cost of following his heart outweighs the potential consequences blah, blah, blah, etc, etc, etc. Oh, it's a painful one.

We break down Aaron Sorkin's entire formula and annoying dialogue, we wonder why the president's daughter needs a permission slip when she's constantly followed around by the Secret Service, and we try to figure out whether it's prostitution for a lobbyist to date the president or just simply a total lack of ethics. But mainly, we're just enraged that a movie this bad is so popular. No wonder this election is between those two awful candidates.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by the Canadian Department of Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Oct 31, 2016

Happy Halloween! This week on Film Snuff, we release our own philosophical tome and craft an episode devoted to pretension, emotional depth, and the poignancy of mental illness. Actually, we have one long, hair-pulling rant about the 2001 film "Donnie Darko" for these crimes against good cinema. Because you just have to hate a movie that has its own creepy secret website.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by DraftQueens.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Oct 25, 2016

The first rule of this podcast is: you do not pretend that this movie is good. The second rule of this podcast is: YOU DO NOT PRETEND THAT THIS MOVIE IS GOOD!

This week we tear down the 1999 cult film that's about a cult tearing down stuff, “Fight Club.”

We wonder why we used to like this movie so much when we were teenagers, why this movie thinks IKEA is quality furniture, whether Tim Burton only dated Helena Bonham Carter because she looks like Edward Scissorhands, and how hypocritical David Fincher and Brad Pitt—a couple of guys responsible for a ton of advertisements—are for making this major studio film that spews a message about anti-consumerism.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Inaudible.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Oct 18, 2016

How this paper-thin road trip movie was nominated for Best Picture is beyond us. And how on earth did it *win* Best Original Screenplay and Best Supporting Actor (for Alan Arkin)? We don’t know, but we’re quite mad about it. 

That’s right, this week we are taking down one of the all-time most overrated quirky comedies, “Little Miss Sunshine.” We discuss why beauty pageants aren’t illegal, who would ever care about the difference between the No. 1 and No. 2 Proust scholars in the world, our take on JonBenét Ramsey, and whether this is just a sequel to “National Lampoon's Vacation” or a prequel to “Breaking Bad.”

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Dirty Apron.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Oct 11, 2016

This beloved, zany flick starring Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro milks running jokes more than that male nurse Gaylord Focker milks cats. 

This week we wonder how “Meet the Parents” from the year 2000 could be so incredibly popular and loved by everyone, how it’s strangely a remake of a 1992 film, and how its cringe quota rivals many horror films. We also wonder why Focker would continue to put up with such emotional abuse, whether the dad is just romantically interested in his own daughter, if mom is actually being held captive, and who the [BLEEP] keeps cameras in the bathroom?

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Female Chimp.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Oct 4, 2016

Take a deep breath. Remember, don't forget to breathe. Always breathe! Yes, this week we are snuffing out the 1984 film, "The Karate Kid." Not any of the sequels, but the first one. The original. And when we’re done with it, it’ll be extra crispy.

We break down this movie’s insane plot, over-the-top villains, and cheesy romantic relationship. Or relationships? Hmm. And we have so many questions, like why does Mr. Miyagi have so many cars if he doesn’t know how to drive, what’s with his magical ability to cure all injuries on the spot, and why do movies in the mid-'80s always have teenage boys hanging out with creepy, loner old men while nobody said anything about it?

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Jasper Futons.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Sep 27, 2016

This week we tear apart David O. Russell’s 2012 film that was nominated for eight Oscars, “Silver Linings Playbook.” Bradley Cooper plays a guy who gets out of a mental institution and tries to get his wife back, until he meets Jennifer Lawrence’s character and they start dancing or something. 

We wonder why on earth this pile of [BLEEP] that’s essentially just an unfunny sports movie was nominated for EIGHT Academy Awards and how JLaw won the Oscar for Best Actress. We also discuss unprofessional therapists, restraining orders, the seemingly-everywhere Cheshire Cat-like cop character, and how Robert De Niro’s desire to make bad movies seems almost as strong as his belief that vaccines cause autism.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by Nature Undies.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Sep 20, 2016

This week we’re tearing apart the beloved romantic comedy from 2003 “Love Actually.” This star-studded cast of British regulars (and Laura Linney) intersect in a tangled web of love (I guess) in London that would make Robert Altman spin in his grave. Hugh Grant plays the lovesick Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, and Billy Bob Thornton plays the president of the United States. Others include Liam Neeson, Colin Firth, Emma Thompson, Martin Freeman, Andrew Lincoln, Keira Knightley, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and the late, great Alan Rickman.

We wonder why people would ever consider this movie romantic, because all the characters merely confuse instant attraction and distant infatuation for love. We unpack the uneasiness of Liam Neeson’s creepy step-son, Laura Linney’s bizarre relationship with her mentally ill brother, and the famous holding-cue-cards-at-the-door scene. Keating deals with his inexplicable untoward thoughts about certain cartoon characters while we also try to figure out why this movie feels the need to countdown the weeks until Christmas, and what exactly Billy Bob Thornton means by saying, “nice pipes.”

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by No Bark Box.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Sep 13, 2016

In the inaugural episode of Film Snuff, we tear apart a beloved classic from our childhoods, the 1992 film “The Mighty Ducks.” This movie was so popular that it spawned two sequels, an animated TV series, and a professional hockey team.

Emilio Estevez plays Gordon Bombay, a successful Minneapolis defense attorney who is haunted by a missed shot in his 1973 peewee hockey championship game. But his cynical eyes get opened when he is forced to coach a ragtag bunch of poor kids.

We wonder why the punishment for getting a DUI would be to work with children, why Gordon Bombay can’t get over missing that one shot, what the deal with creepy Hans is, and who could be writing this many newspaper articles about this peewee hockey league. We discuss how disturbing it is that Charlie insists on his mom dating his hockey coach, that the moral of this movie is having money and ringers is the only way to win, and we try to get to the bottom of Goldberg’s mysterious claim that he would soon be moving to Philly.

Tell us what you think by chatting with us (@filmsnuff) on TwitterFacebook and Instagram, or by shooting us an email over at mailbag@filmsnuff.com.

This episode is sponsored by $50 Shave Club.

Visit our website at https://www.filmsnuff.com.

Sep 6, 2016

A sneak peak at FILM SNUFF, a new comedy podcast where hosts Keating Thomas & Jim offer a different bent on all those “bad movie podcasts” out there that usually take the worst movies ever made that everyone agrees are terrible—and most of us haven’t either seen or even heard of—and rip them apart. Film Snuff instead takes all those overrated turds that were beloved hits at the box office or inexplicable critics darlings—and gives THEM movies their deserved bullying. 

These movies range from Oscar-nominated garbage, huge box-office hits, beloved comedies that aren’t funny, sappy romantic trash, and even some acclaimed movies from their childhood that in retrospect are actually nonsense.

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